Sakhi's Laghukatha

Not such a “short” story!

Posted on: October 31, 2008

Shruti was surprised to see Krishna’s message on her mobile. They were almost inseparable in their college days but time and distance had drifted them apart. They still kept in touch but the calls and ‘sms’es had decreased over a period of time.

“Get ready to receive me tomorrow morning!” read the ‘sms’.

It was almost seven years since they last met. Though they no longer talked everyday or didn’t share each and every moment of their lives, she was still very fond of him. She was glad he was coming to Ahmedabad.

As she saw Krishna on the airport her heart swelled looking at her old friend. She almost ran to hug him the way she used to do, then she held herself. She no longer was an 18-year-old wearing tight jeans, long flowing curly hair and “kajal” eyed! He also had changed. Navy blue blazer, crisp white shirt with perfectly cut trousers had taken place of tight tee and ragged jean!

Both stood there in silence, somewhat awkward, and shook hands! She smiled tentatively and then suddenly they burst into laughter… the old musical laughter!

“So, how come I have a privilege to have your auspicious company?” Shruti teased Krishna as they were going back to her place.

“Its been a while since I met you and then I have a meeting with some officials in Gandhinagar tomorrow so thought of coming a day earlier and catch up on old times with you!”

The rest of the way to her place zoomed by with their non-stop chattering. There were so many things to be shared.

“Have you got a pair of jeans?” asked Shruti once they reached home.

“Yeah, But why?”

She didn’t answer but insisted him to change the clothes. He did (as if he had a choice!).

“And where is your SLR?” This time he was ready with it. He loved photography and still was passionate about it.

As soon as they finished the breakfast she almost dragged him.

It was the first time Krishna had come to Ahmedabad and Shruti wanted him to see real Ahmedabad, not the malls and shopping place or exotic eateries!

She took him around the old city on a heritage walk. Since it was Sunday, also took him to “Ravivari” (flea market held only on Sundays) at the banks of Sabarmati River and to other places where she knew Krishna would love to go. He thoroughly enjoyed the exotic “Jharokha” of the century old houses in “Pol” and came to know the way of living of people there. He was absolutely delighted to find some rare collection of books on photography at dirt-cheap price at “Ravivari”. He was awed by the fineness of workmanship of “Sidi Saiyad ni Jaali”. His camera was constantly clicking some of the most beautiful snaps of this dusty city! Shruti had made his day!

“Last destination of our expedition today!” Shruti announced proudly. “Jhulta Minara!

He was enthralled by the monument and was in awe of the great architecture and engineering which dated back to 15th century. As they were taking the tour they heard some commotion in the adjacent mosque and suddenly they found themselves pushed and shoved by a mob which seemed to have mind of its own. They didn’t understand what was going on and why suddenly so many people were running around shouting, And then Shruti heard somebody shouting, “bomb, bomb”!

Fear washed over their faces and they were absolutely clueless about what to do!! People were running in all directions and Krishna realized that if they didn’t get to a safe place they would surely die of stampede if not of bomb! He looked around and dragged Shruti to a small hiatus just at the end of the corridor about 5 feet away from where they were standing. They could hear their own heartbeats and blood pounded in their ears… They were unable to contemplate where so many people had suddenly come from and what really was going on!

They felt safe in that cramped up place. As the adrenalin rush came down they became conscious about being so near. Shruti could feel Krishna’s breath on her cheek and something stirred in her! As she looked up she saw Krishna’s eyes getting darker with… with what? Desire? Suddenly the whole world stopped around them as they stood their looking at each other, feeling each other with their eyes! They didn’t know how long they stood there like some awestruck teenagers.

Suddenly the spell was broken when they heard a whistle and realized where they were and what had just taken place. They came out and saw a lot of military people around. Things were falling into place. They were asked for the identity, some formalities were done and were allowed to go.

They walked back to the car in a daze. Dazed for what they had witnessed and also for what transpired between them… without a word!

******

“Sorry Krishna, I could not give you company today as something urgent came up. Hope you and Shruti had a good time.” said Akash, Shruti’s husband, good-naturedly at the dinner.

Krishna could not look into Akash’s eyes, nor could Shruti!

48 Responses to "Not such a “short” story!"

The best thing abt the post is not only its a well narrated story but also it has good links abt the place!!

hmm….abt the story, may be its natural for human to get distracted and its not a sin to get the thought but its imp not to give in!!

Sakhi: Thanks🙂 I do agree that most important is not to give in and thats what shruti and krishna did! but they still felt guilty

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wowwwwwwwww….I just loved the way it ended ! I was imagining myself in Krishnas role; I cudnt have faced too. Lovvved it !!!

Sakhi: Thanks yaar, I was a bit skeptical about the story once i hit the publish button.. didnt know whether it would be a good read or not!!🙂 i am glad you liked it!

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Very well Narrated. Kinda like a Manirathnam story.

Sakhi: Dinesh, thats a huge compliment……you made my day! Thanks🙂

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Hmmmmn. Nice, true story (or is it?)…. I can relate to it!😉

Sakhi: Not true at all but one never know…😉 kal ko kuchh bhi ho sakta hai!!😛 😛

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Nice story!! And I think such sudden flames of desire are not all that uncommon.

Sakhi: Yeah i agree too, not uncommon but better kept under wraps…😉

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Is this like a horrible jab at me for not meeting you!?😦
I’m sorry!!!

Sakhi:😆 ha…ha…ha… Don’t worry, i will make sure that you don’t ditch me when you come to ahmedabad!😀 😀

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A part 2 would be very interesting😀

The links made the story more realistic. Beautiful story.
Only if Akash was not there at the dinner table🙂

Sakhi: And i thought the Akash’s presence made the whole story interesting!! Silly me!🙂 🙂

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another brilliantly written story !!
You should have kept them in the corridor for just a little bit longer 😛

Sakhi: Kash ki meine aisa kiya hota!!!😆

Btw, where are you, no posts for sooooo long!!❓

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A very nice story with the links for places around ahmedabad and happenings(bomb blasts) around the nation. Anybody can go into distraction at those time.
Nicely written🙂

Sakhi: Thanks a lot!🙂

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I don’t know what to comment after reading such a nice story… short n sweet…

I really liked the last line, the way you have framed it…🙂

Sakhi: Thanks buddy!🙂

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how the past sometimes never lets go. or maybe we don’t let go of the past.
very nice story – i’d love to get somebody to make a short movie out of it

Sakhi: Absolutely agree and sometimes, we create new things from a scratch… here, probably there was no past as such, other than friendship!!

And for the movie thing, i am humbled! Really!!🙂 In-case some nut case do agree to do it, please dont forget to give me some credit and some money for my writing!!😆 😛

And hey, Welcome to my blog!!🙂

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🙂 NIce story🙂 next part to it?

Sakhi: Let Akash and Shruti live in peace, why should i spoil it by writing a sequel!!😛 😛 And History tells that sequels are always disappointing compared to the original ones!! ha…ha…ha..😆

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Agar tumhe wo pyar shadi ke baad mile to? – Shahrukh Khan, Kabhi Alwida Na kehna!😉

Nice story. But was Shruti happy with her husband?

Sakhi: Ha..ha..ha.. Tun shahrukh ke fan ho kya??😀 😀

And for shruti being happy, when i thought about that character, she seemed happy with her marriage… what i conceived here was pure desire and something more… Probably thats the reason, protagonist felt guilty!

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i had been visiting your blog for quite a few days for a new post and today i finally found one😀
this one was totally crisp,perfectly scripted and flawless😀 ..why dont you just go ahead with publishing of all your short stories.they are really worth reading . cheers😀

Sakhi: Arey i had gone on a diwali vacation so didn’t write anything, but i am glad that somebody actually waits for my posts…hee..hee..he…

About publishing the stories, i am not really sure! But can give it a try once i have enough money to go for it. Thanks for boosting up my morale!!🙂

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Very interesting concept ….the “links’ added flavor to the story🙂 Enjoyed it😛

Sakhi: Thanks🙂 🙂

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just before the ending , I thought it would be ending with same bollywood spice …. Shruti and Krishna united again.. ;)…but am glad it didn’t ended that way…..:D

Sakhi: “bollywood”!! Thank God i don’t think that way! you would have cursed me throughyour heart… and imagine how would it be if i thought “rajnikant” way!!😆

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Hi Sakhi, it was a very nice & interesting story…:)

Happy New Year and best wishes to you & your family …:)

Sakhi: Thanks Jemal, “Salmubarak” to you and your family too!! Where are you these days? No new post on your blog. And your name is still not linked to your blog…

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First-timer here.. Really liked the story!Will be back for more🙂

Sakhi: Welcome Sheba.. Am glad you liked the story… See you around!

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They didn’t have a good time, did they? Wonder why the guilt then😀

Sakhi: They did have good time.. but not what you mean😉 The guilt was because of the thought and not the deed!🙂

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Very nice story, I don’t know what to comment , I can relate to it as well … will be back for more bollywood spice to have a good time😉

Sakhi:🙂 thanks

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Great!!!!

The “links’ added flavor to the story, Enjoyed it.
Not yet gone through the all link, but ll go whenever i get time.

Wanted to visit your blog for quite a few days, but couldn’t bcoz of my busy professional schedule.
Got surprise. 3 new posts and last was typical sakhisssssssssssssss’

wow, so many compliments in one post;
Making movies😛
Maniratnam like theme😀
Publishing stories🙂🙂

It’s simply great, Keep it up…..

Sakhi: Good that you could get some time off for my stories!!😛 😛 Do visit again soon!

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This story reminded me of Mr. & Mrs. Iyer….. (Not exactly same quite similar)

Copy to nahi kiya na😛

Sakhi: Idont believe in plagiarism!!😛 😛

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Sakhi, I have come across a small theory.

The attraction of flirtation is not so much in flirtation itself, but in sustaining the possibility of flirting, of ignominy, of defiance and even of hurting oneself (in the end).

Had an affair been a taboo, it wouldn’t be much fun.

Sakhi:😀 😀 Absolutely agree… flirting is qutie a fun till its taken and done in the right sense🙂
******
“Krishna could not look into Akash’s eyes, nor could Shruti!”

I would have liked…”Shruti strove to suppress a smile”.

Sakhi: Liked the twist.. good one!🙂

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Good story!🙂 Typical Sakhi ending to it😉 I enjoyed reading it and not having been to અમદાવાદ, learned many things about your city, like the Pols and the weekly flea market.

Sakhi: Thanks, but why typical.. i think now is i should write in a different manner but don’t know how to write ‘atypically’ 😀 😀

Am sure if you come visit અમદાવાદ you would like it, only deterent is the weather, its really realy hot here😦

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again a surprise ending🙂 great read

Sakhi: Thanks sweetz!🙂

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you are most welcome…..and yes i forgot to mention i would second megcloud9 that again you gave a surprise ending to the story😀

Sakhi:🙂 🙂

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Thankx…study pressure is so much I am not able to blog…Thankx for inspiring…I am not able to link it …as u told me I went to settings but there is no way to link…

U shud make a blog on how much parents shud be behind Xth std students…or how imp std Xth is….or something like that…sorry, just venting it out….:)

Sakhi: Am happy that you are studying seriously… its more important!

For linking your name, go to users >> contact info >> Website >> enter your blog url.

No probs for venting out.. i do understand how it is for the student as i was once a student myself and had a lot of pressure to get good grades
All the best and don’t worry this phase will pass! Take care..

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why should they feel guilty when they knew the reality!
swarup’s way of ending it would have been better !

Sakhi: They felt the guilt because they knew the reality..

And i liked swaroop’s end too!🙂

And hey, welcome to my blog🙂

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ouch!

u won’t believe but this is a true incident for more than one person i know!

Sakhi: Hi chandni, i think this is the first comment from you on my blog… welcome!! 🙂 🙂

And i do believe this is a common occurance, though most of us would not admit it!

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Wow !!

U gave me a tour of Old Ahmedabad without even my physical presence .. Those links will surely make ur story worthwhile for those who have not been to old ahmedabad ..

My dad’s hospital is in Mandvi ni Pol which comes in the heritage walk capmpaign .. So it was sone pe suhaga for me !!

By the way, happy new year !!

Sakhi: ‘sal mubarak’ to you too!!🙂 Am glad that i made you feel happy… mandvi ni pol ma to ame ghani kharidi karva jata.. have samay nathi malto!!

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Loved the ending. It was for Shruti’s own good that her hubby didn’t accompany her.🙂

Sakhi:😀 😀 yeah, for her and krishna’s good:mrgreen: but they didn’t take their “desire” lightly! And hence the guilt…

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Quite filmy and real too.🙂 Nice one.

Sakhi: Filmy!🙄 😆 But thanks!

And hey kanan, i am unable to comment on your blog since it is blocked at my office (😉 ) but do read it regularly through google reader.. just wanted you to know..🙂

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There is one funny joke going around Ahmedabad ..

U know that SAL is one of Ahmedabad’s expensive hospitals .. So dont say ‘Sal Mubarak’ now on .. Becausde it means u will get a heart attack and u will hv to be admitted in SAL .. so instead say ‘ Nutan varshabhinandan’ ..

Ha ha ha .. That was funny !!

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😀 😀 How true, how true…😆 So, “Nutan Varshabhinandan” to you and your family!!🙂

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Good story. And Rdoc’s comment is funny!🙂 Are there any such cramped places in ICU’s I have started to wonder.🙂
Well Sakhi, it sounds like a nice fantasy even if you never experienced it!😀

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Thanks Nita… And believe me there are many closed places in hosptals, not only in ICUs…😉 😀

And yes, it IS a fiction!! Wonder how will it really feel to be in such situation!😉

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😦 no happy ending??? Why o Why????

This one was one sweet & lovely story :))

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Hey, thanks.🙂 Glad to know you do.

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@ Smita

Well this was not a sad ending either… in-fact it was not an ending at all!!🙂 😛

And thanks!🙂

@ Kanan

I most definitely do and i wanted you to know.🙂 🙂

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The ending was superb and nothng like I expected😛

Sakhi: Thanks sweetz!!🙂

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another gem from you..🙂

I have this dirty habit of imagining myself as one of the characters while reading a story.. I loved to be in krishna’s shoes..

WOndering what would happen if he had another day to spend, and Aakash was busy too🙂

Sakhi: Wow, liked the idea!!😉

the bombing incident was very creative…one bomb exploded outside and one inside them🙂

Sakhi: Good line!! shall use it sometime (of course, if you dont mind!)🙂

nice one..

Sakhi: Thanks🙂

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use use.. i never mind..🙂

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Absolutely lovable! It is very broad minded of me to think tht the ending is natural. but i wonder what would have akash’s reaction been had he come to know of the commotion in the eyes and hearts.

Sakhi: I dont think Akash would have ever lived with the fact that his wife was attracted to somebody, even for a fraction of second!! Its natural, i guess, to be possessive about the partner… possessive in a right sense!!🙂

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The ending comments of husband blew my mind… ! Story was gripping … you must write stories for Bollywood. These days they make sucked up movies…🙂

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@ Jagdeep

Ha..ha..ha.. Thats a huge compliment and i do agree with you on bollywood making sucked up movies!!🙂

And hey welcome to my blog, keep visiting!🙂

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Nice short story, Sakhi. Even if you felt it was “not so short”, one could flow fast through the text smoothly. Fantasy narrated with a sensual touch. You also used the links to places in A’bad. Keep writing such nice stories!

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Thanks a lot🙂 hope to write as much as i can!!🙂

Keep visiting!

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My second visit within an hour and I am loving it. Great job.

For a moment I thought that the friends would actually give in to their feelings. But you have explained why they didn’t brilliantly. And I don’t think Aakash could have lived with the fact that Shruthi was attracted to another man. Hell, if that happens to me and I came to know about it; let’s hope there won’t be an unexplained disappearance of someone.😀

Sakhi: 😀 😀 no, no.. nobody is disappearing!

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Sakhi's Laghukatha by Sakhi (aka Dr. Dhara Shah) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at sakhi.laghukatha@gmail.com.

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