Fire!
Posted on: June 15, 2009
- In: 55er | Fiction | Love
- 56 Comments
There was fire in his eyes…
Fire of love, fire of jealousy, fire of betrayal…
Betrayal?
Why?
She was his friend, nothing else, or so he said, time and again!
“Congratulations!” he said, with fire in his eyes and bouquet in his hands!
P.S. Tried 55er for the first time. Haven’t used all 55 words though. Hope I haven’t disappointed you guys 🙂
56 Responses to "Fire!"
June 15, 2009 at 1:38 pm
There was fire in his eyes…
Fire of love, fire of jealousy, fire of betrayal…
Betrayal?
Why?
She was his friend, nothing else, or so he said, time and again!
“Congratulations!” he said and she Punched him and broke his specs.
P.S: In case of fire, break the glass.
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June 15, 2009 at 2:24 pm
😦
No …there is no need for fire.
Love is always about wishing the other all happiness…so no need for fire.
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June 15, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
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June 15, 2009 at 2:28 pm
not used all 55 but still say a lot.. good try… 🙂
LOL @ Anshul 😀
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June 15, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Thanks! 🙂
And about anshul, he steals my show, always, with his witty comments! 🙂
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June 15, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Not like your full longer ones….but I cant blame you. 55 is just too small a quantity for this.
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June 15, 2009 at 6:10 pm
🙂 I know but i wanted to try and think i have failed miserably! 🙂
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June 15, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Aapki lambi wali Laghukathaye jyada prabhvit karti hain.Kripya hame hamri lambi Laghukathaon se alag na karen..
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June 15, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Heyyy, thats me !!! I mean, thats how I used to feel when I go for any wedding 😉
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June 15, 2009 at 9:01 pm
this will make up a nice prologue for a high suspense detective novel … lol
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June 15, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Nice 🙂 Ha almost imagined myself in the guys position and then Anshul’s comment kinda made my eyes hurt 😉
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June 16, 2009 at 1:32 am
Not bad! Not bad! 🙂
Although I must say that Anshul’s version was much better. 😛
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June 16, 2009 at 10:11 am
It was quite nice actually, read more like a poem. I wasn’t sure I understood the last line though.
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June 16, 2009 at 10:52 am
It was to mention that when the protagonist had a choice he was dilly-dalying and when the girl married someone else, he had all the wrong emotions 😉
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June 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Nice attempt, only somewhere its hurt and no end to it.
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June 18, 2009 at 8:57 am
Kahin aapne chot to nahi khayi hai kabhi!
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June 18, 2009 at 11:21 am
Haale dil sunane se darte hai sabhi,
Apne dil ki agg se dusro ko jalane se darte hai sabhi,
Sabh khud he khaakh ho jayege agar,
agar har ek kahani ka anth hoga yehi…
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June 19, 2009 at 8:26 am
Well i have written something, of my own please take and look and give your comment.
http://blog.sushantchaudhary.com/2009/06/18/you-are-my-imagination/
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June 17, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Liked it 🙂
and understood even more from the explanation you gave after which it now makes perfect sense..was wondering about the betrayal part 🙂
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June 18, 2009 at 9:01 am
Khud hi soch liya protagonist ne ki uski dost sirf uski hi hai… 😉
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June 18, 2009 at 8:21 am
Jab koi upna tha hi nahi, how can that become betrayal? There is a quote that I am reminded of, in this situation – ‘If you love someone deeply, let go. If they come back, they were always yours. If they don’t, they were never yours!”
Destination Infinity
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June 18, 2009 at 9:03 am
In this case the protagonist thought on his own that the “friend” was “his” without having to bother about expressing his feelings or getting to know the girl’s!! 🙂
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June 20, 2009 at 2:28 am
Well done with just a few words! But this isn’t exactly a Sakhi ending 🙂
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June 27, 2009 at 5:23 pm
nice attempt…
found this really interesting…trying to pen in a short story in 55 words…will try put a few myself…
your long stories are really nice and intereting too :):)
seem to touch different emotions in each one…
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July 3, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Thanks and i too feel more comfortable writing the long ones… 55 words, i feel, is too less for me! 🙂
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July 29, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Wow !!! a very nice 55-er …. I have been reading 55-ers in blogs around off late and this one’s really good …
and I must say one needs some mastery over fiction writing to write a 55-er well like you did in your first attempt…
the ‘punch’ version was also funny 😀
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July 29, 2009 at 11:33 pm
M I spoing it… by posting the 56th comment? or is it gonna be deleted?
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Sakhi's Laghukatha 
June 15, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Hmm.. nice try..! 🙂
Not as good as all ur stories, but a nice 55er !! 😉
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June 15, 2009 at 6:04 pm
hmmm… have to think about this! 🙂
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