Sakhi's Laghukatha

Her last breath

Posted on: July 20, 2010

Mridula opened her eyes and saw his smiling face. She took a dyspnoeic breath and smiled contentedly. At last he had come.

She closed her eyes again and went back to the day he had entered her life. She remembered his first touch all too well. She was ecstatic every time he smiled at her. How she loved it when he came running to her and hugged her as if there was no tomorrow. Her world revolved around him. His choices became her choices; starting from his favourite food to the colours to the TV shows… everything! Even her clothes were decided by his choice.

But slowly and inevitably things started changing. Other people started getting more attention than her. She felt sidelined but smiled and tried to understand. She assured herself that it is just a phase and he will come back to her as he used to do earlier. Of course, he hugged her and kissed her before leaving home every morning but she missed his undivided attention. They no longer sat together and talked about his day or watched movies together with a bag full of popcorns. He did not have time to tell her each and every detail of his life any more. Most of his time at home was spent either on phone or on the computer. She tried learning computer for him too, but he laughed at her. The laugh was not a mockery, she told herself.

As if this was not enough, she sensed other girls in his life too. She tried to enquire about them nonchalantly but he would say they were just friends and she should not be paranoid about it. But she kept a check for any tell-tale signs. She found none. She increasingly felt insecure. More she tried to hold him, farther he went.

She remembered the last fight they had before he left home for good. She had found some gift in his drawer. She kept looking at it and as the time passed she became increasingly agitated. By the end of the day, when he came home she was livid with rage. She started shouting and calling him names. He was stumped, could not understand her reaction or the things she was saying. He tried to make her understand, tried to calm her, but she would not listen. She did not know when she started abusing him. She could see the shocked expression on his face and later the tears too. But she was unable to control herself. She just went on and on. He tried to hold her tight, a hug she was longing for so long. But this time it did nothing to calm her. In her heart she knew, what she was doing, what she was feeling was entirely wrong. And yet, she was unable to control herself. She did not know for how long she went on but somewhere she heard him say that he was sick of her insecurities and sick of her hold over him. He said he needed space. And then she heard a thud, he had closed the door after him.

He was gone, forever.

That was the last time she saw or heard of him. He never called her or reached out to her. She did not know how and where to look for him.

Today, after about ten years, at her death bed he had come back. At last, her son had come to take care of her. At last he will be all hers! With these thoughts, she opened her eyes again, smiled at him once more with all the love she had for him and her soul gently left her body.

What she did not know and would never know was that he was always around her. He stood by her with all his love and care. He diligently visited her in this asylum every single day. It was just that she could not recognize him.

It was a miracle that she could feel his presence and see him for last one time!

37 Responses to "Her last breath"

🙂 You’re back with the same gusto!

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Oye, u already know i have gone no where, but new job is keeping my so damned busy yaar!🙂

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nice one! once again you did a good job with your fiction!

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Thanks sakha🙂

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“It was a miracle that she could feel his presence and see him for last one time today!”

wow.. its a nice one dear..🙂 had a grat reading experience today. waiting for more..

where u getting these names?? mridula is one of favorite names as sakhi😛

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😀 one more comment on my selection of names!😆 😆

and i am so glad u liked the story🙂

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oh, the good old twist !

but i seriously believe that if parents want to have a healthy relationship with their grown-up children, they need to let go of them.

Good one🙂

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i completely agree adarsh… some parents try to be overly possessive about their children and in turn sometimes ruin their lives.

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owesome!!!

i didn’t realise that when story ended.
typical of sakhi touch

welcome back…..
where were you?
keep it up with more and more!!!!

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a bit busy with real life so cant get enough time for the virtual world😦

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Ohhhhhhh…you’re alive you’re alive you’re alive.🙂
Where were you all these days? Damn! Am i being insecure here?😛

Hey Good one, as always. Though the first para gave it away tht it was a mother-and-son story, the ending as always was AWESOME!🙂

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hey scorpria, i am alive and kicking (😉 ) but as i mentioned up there, real life is too hectic and due to that my virtual life suffers😦

havent blogged properly since god knows when!

but am so glad to have frnds like u who welcome me anytime i just so much as show my face (so to speak)
🙂

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>…<

This reverse Odepus complex is so tragic…sigh😦
Thank God! I have seen people cope with it than break…but occasionally, we do see some fragile ones fail or succeed (in keeping their child in their 'grips', as it were). Either way its a dead-end.

Quite a bold story…not often spoken about.

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sometimes parents do not understand how they ruin their kids’ lives by doing so…

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I was expecting something else… embarrassed to be caught on the wrong foot. >.<

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ohh sad story??? good one though..understood its a mother and child story from this sentence “How she loved it when he came running to her and hugged her as if there was no tomorrow. ”
waise it was nice coming back to ur blog after so long and feeding the hamster😀

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and my fish are left hungry?? not fair reema, not fair at all!😛

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Oh how many Tangy Tuesdays have we missed..

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Nice one, yet again, Dharaben, with a twist @ “her son”🙂

It reminded me of “Lohi Ni Sagaai” of Ishwar Petlikar. The story of Amratkaki and Mangu, quite different yet quite similar. I am hoping you remember it.

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i do remember “lohi ni sagai” as name of the novel but now don’t remember what the plot was. I MUST now bye a few gujju classics and read them again. Some of them are real gems🙂

Thanks kanan for reminding me🙂

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That was a brilliant post, Sakhi. You kept the reader engrossed till the end. Keep writing!

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Thanks a bunch arjit🙂

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Welcome back-it is a treat to find a story back in my reader. This was a moving one-maybe most obsessive parents do not land up in asylums, but they do end up making life a living hell.

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i agree they dont end up in asylum but they make kids’ lives a living hell!🙂

i am glad u liked the story🙂

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I couldn’t guess that..brilliant!

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thanks vishu🙂

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Brilliant read. And the climax is just superb!
Keep up the good work!

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thanks a bunch nikhil🙂

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Have been meaning to comment as soon as I read the story but didn’t get the time. Great one as always. Wonderful twist. I would just change one sentence to the following to really bring out the mother-son relationship:

“Her choices became his choices; starting from her favourite food to the colours to the TV shows… everything! Even his clothes were decided by her choice.”

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That was a cool change in the sentence🙂 Loved it!🙂

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Hi Sakhi, really liked your stories.
Do check out mine at my url http://literarystruggles.blogspot.com/
Would like your opinion.

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will surely do🙂

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One of the best of your works, yet. Excellent narration…

Destination Infinity

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WOW… thanks a bunch🙂 u made my day🙂

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Creative Commons Licence
Sakhi's Laghukatha by Sakhi (aka Dr. Dhara Shah) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at sakhi.laghukatha@gmail.com.

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