Posted October 25, 2013on:
She smiled to herself wistfully remembering their courtship days. They had had their share of love, laughter and fights, but it happened so that those fights won at the end and they separated after being with each other for 8 years. 8 years!! Reflecting on those days now did not make any sense and there was no need either but who would tell that to her fluttering heart. There was this longing which she could not understand at all. It was her decision to break up, to break free; the decision that she almost never regretted. He was a good man and loved her a lot but for her love was not enough. She needed acceptance, as a person; for what she was and not for what he wanted her to be. She was a free spirit and felt stifled in their overwhelming, perfect-from-outside relationship. Revisiting those days, sitting in front of her laptop screen made her sad. What a waste of a good friendship! Had they stayed friends it would have been perfect. Both cared for each other and love could have been totally platonic. Call it hormones or call it immaturity, they started going out with each other. The very things that attracted Rahil to her, started coming in the way. Her laughter which was so contagious was looked upon as unlady-like, her dressing sense which he earlier found cute was now not appropriate for an 18 year old girl-friend! She tried, and tried hard to mould herself in preconceived notion of a 19 year old boy-friend’s views. But the more she tried, more she alienated from herself. The carefree days of their friendship were turning into nightmare for both. She cried when he shouted, he hated to see her tears and felt like a jerk. But this repeated over different issues; clothes, behaviour, food and so on. Apparently, he did this out of love because he wanted to protect her. She could not understand, protect from whom?!
Finally, one of their squabbles turned out to be the last straw on the camel’s back. There went a shockwave in their friend circle when they got to know that their perfect-couple had parted ways. She was blamed time and again for the break up. She did not try to malign him, neither did he! They loved each other too much to wash their dirty laundry in public.
Life fell into routine after lots of tears and heartache on both sides. Time takes care of a lot of things in life!
One fine day a “Facebook friend request” blinked on her screen. To accept or not was the dilemma. “Oh what harm can it do after so many years?!” she had thought. Catching up on each others’ lives felt natural. Both of them were happy in their respective lives. Talking to Rahil after so many years brought back a lot of memories, mostly painful ones for her and pleasant ones for him. They had changed. She had matured and so had he. They laughed at the way things went sour between them.
Her eyes watered with unknown emotions. He kept laughing. She could hear familiar teasing tone over phone. It was more like catching up with an old friend. But phone calls increased and messages too. His constant apology melted her heart. Earlier bitterness gave way to friendly chatter and mushy feelings. They were not having any affair; it was a long distance pen-pal type relationship. Their spouses will never understand. Neither will anyone else in the society. She was never to give a damn about society but now she knew that she was not alone. There were lives attached to them both and people might not see the platonic nature of their relationship when they have so much history attached to them. Not just that, they loved their respective families way too much to hurt them in any way.
It was time to cut the cord again.
Or was it?