Sakhi's Laghukatha

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Mirror

I will the mirror to show me what I want to see and not what it reflects…

As only I know, I have faltered and failed, given in to the pleasures of sins…

But were they really transgressions or just reflections of societal moral moulds…

“Of course, I love you the way you are
.
.
.
But…”

In the world full of distractions, it is important what you choose

I choose to be with you… 🥰😍

He wanted me to say yes or no… nothing in between. It had to be black or white; No shades of gray!


I stood there, with my head bowed, wanting him to understand, relationship takes time and effort…


I could not promise…


Now we do not talk…

I recently bought a new mobile phone. Loved the way my fingers glided on the new screen… so smooth and flawless.

Today I noticed some tiny, almost invisible scratches that have started to form…

May be our heart gather such scars too. Small, imperceptible inflictions leave marks, we cannot see them but they are there and over a period of time they build up and create ruins.

Do we have screen guards available to protect our heart too?!

– Dhara’s musings

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It was one of those busy days at ER – Two MIs, one stroke and innumerable other patients. Peach was extremely tired and was looking at the clock for her shift to end and praying that there will not be any more cases. But as luck would have it, another case came in just as she was about to leave. She rolled her eyes and rushed to see her new patient.

There sat a very handsome man, with disheveled hair and visibly in pain. “Tall, dark and handsome”, Peach mentally noted and smiled to herself. It looked like he had fracture of the great toe with history of his heavy camera equipment falling on his foot. As she prepared his papers to be transferred to the relevant department and gave him some pain killers for immediate pain relief, she kept talking to him softly, explaining him the procedure and the next steps. As the drug effect started doing its magic, Joel started to take his surroundings in. He felt grateful to Peach and thanked her profusely as he was wheeled away to get his X-ray done. He was disappointed when he learned that he would next be consulted by an orthopedician and not by Peach.

Once home, Peach had hot dinner that her house help had prepared and flopped on the bed. She went into deep, dreamless sleep immediately. Next few days were as good or as bad as always. ER can be a maddening place. Peach was thinking of asking the hospital superintendent to shift her to some other ward. She mentally created a check list to be referred to later. As she cerebrally checked her list, she thought she saw Joel again, this time holding his tummy. She had to look again to check if she was dreaming. He came in a wheel chair as his foot still hurt and now, he was complaining of severe abdominal pain with diarrhea. He gave all the details of his medical condition and gave Peach a wide grin. Peach smile back, with a little confusion on her face. If he was so much in pain, why was he smiling as if he was a child in a candy store! Routine procedure followed, forms filled up and Joel sent for further work up out of ER. Next week, this happened again. This time Joel came up with sleeplessness and severe headache. Peach almost rolled her eyes at her patient but was cordial enough to do the needful.

Peach’s shift ended and she was dying to tell her best friend about this cute guy who kept coming to ER. She knew from his reports that Joel did not have any medical problem, except for the fracture for which he came for the first time! Peach and her friend giggled over dinner and Peach was teased endlessly. They felt that this was not the end of it and their feminine instincts came true. Joel appeared again, this time with complains of “heart ache” and Peach could not help but laugh at his dramatic presentation.

“You are getting creative”, said Peach to Joel in a teasing voice.

“Can’t help it. This is the only way to see you.”

“You mean you were faking all this while?” asked peach in mock horror.

He grinned sheepishly.

“Will you see me for coffee sometime?”

“Are you asking me out for a date?” she smile cutely

“Well, if you have an objection to that, let’s say I want to know you better, be friends. So, coffee?”

“Hmn… okay.”

“Saturday, 4 pm, Starbucks?”

“I work on Saturdays. Sunday?”

He thought for just a split second, mentally calculating something and said, “Done”.

“Do you still have heart ache? Shall I get the nurse to prepare for ECG?” winked Peach

With a loud laughter he excused himself out of ER. “Not very subtle,” thought Peach with a smile and rolling eyes at the same time. The nurse raised her eyebrows and asked her with a gesture, what was that about. Peach just shook her head and went about her work for the remaining of the evening. ER did not seem as busy after all.

One coffee meet led to another. Joel got to know Dr. Prachi was known by Peach among her friends and he loved the name. She was cute and chubby and super soft at heart, hence the name. He totally agreed! Both were busy professionals but took time out for each other. Joel traveled a lot for his photo shoots and Peach has weird working hours at the hospital. Peach made him laugh with her quirky medical stories and he loved listening to her. She brought the humane angle in his life that he felt lacked in his kind of work. He would not share too many details about his work with her but will not forget to video call her even if he had only a few minutes to spare or to ask for her picture just to see her or simply send a hello. When they met, which was not so often, it was magical.

It was almost a year that Joel had fractured his big toe. It was amazing how Peach had filled his life with colours and laughter and happiness. He wanted to take this relationship to the next level. Though they had pecked each other or held hands sometimes, Joel wanted more, and he had seen in Peach’s eyes that she wanted it too. Joel surprised her with flight tickets for a short get away with him during his shoot at Sri Lanka in a month’s time. He hoped that he had not read her emotions wrongly. She smiled, blushing profusely and letting him know that she will check if she can get her leaves cleared. Joel breathed with relief, he did not even realize that he was holding his breath.

As the time of going to Sri Lanka neared, their chats got spicier. All these talks made Peach to think about her body. She stood in front of the mirror and found innumerable faults with herself. She was always on the chubbier side, not so sexy with the current definition of the body sizes and right now those love-handles did not look flattering at all. She was used to looking at imperfections in her daily work and knew that there is nothing called as a perfect body, but she also knew that in Joel’s line of work he met the most beautiful, chiseled, lithe ladies every day. Even if there was so much as an extra blemish, he would remove it in post-production of the shoot and here she was having ugly stretch marks. She tried to reason with herself – he loved her and that’s what matters the most, but at the back of her mind there was this growing storm that wanted to seize her sanity. She thought about Joel and he came across as “tall, dark and handsome” just as she remembered him from when she first saw him. Suddenly, she started feeling that she was not a match for him at all, not the way they looked together. They might be great as friends and even something more but definitely not as physical partners, she cannot match his league.

Just a couple of days before they were supposed to leave for their first holidays together, Peach broke off with Joel.

Joel did not know what hit him. Well, neither did Peach!

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Eva picked up her phone to check the notification. She had a “match”, again! She opened the profile and saw smiling face of Zeus with some impressive credentials. She was pleased. Though this was not her first match, she was new to this online dating game. Her best friend Maddy was after her life to “get a life” and downloaded this app. She even created Eva’s profile. Eva was not averse to dating but even though she was a millennial, born and brought up in a metro city, online dating was something that she did not fathom or trusted. Maddy would not listen to her, however and got her on Tinder. After swiping on Tinder for weeks she got around 4 matches. Nice men but they were all looking for casual affairs, nothing serious. Though it is generally understood that Tinder is for flings, Eva still wanted something more. She did not connect with any of them and so conversations died after one or two chats. Eva was already bored, and she had swiped right for Zeus as one last try.

Their conversation started with a simple hi and Eva soon realized Zeus was as skeptical of online dating as she was and that gave her some comfort. The chats that had started tentatively went on to become full blown colloquies with varied topics from environment preservation to current affairs to discrimination against LGBTQ to Bollywood movies… they would discuss anything under the Sun. Zeus had a match in Eva and Eva could not believe that she found such a friend on Tinder. She had started liking Zeus a lot. He was funny, sharp, sensitive (sometime, a little too sensitive for Eva’s taste!) and caring. Everything that she wanted in a partner. He had a stable job and basically seemed like a right person for her. What she liked best in him was that he understood her perfectly – her passion for art, sensitivity towards animals, her silly dream of becoming a PM one day – everything. She was a total extrovert and he was a complete introvert (or so he claimed!). They complemented each other, like Ying & Yang. After online tête-à-tête for about 6 months, they thought of meeting in person at least once. Actually, it was Eva’s idea. Zeus was a little reluctant, but Eva did not leave him much choice.

As they both were from different parts of the country and decided to meet at a neutral place – Jaipur. Eva proposed this place as she thought it reflected her personality; vibrant, colourful and chaotic. Zeus laughed at the comparison. There was still a month before they would be able to see each other in person. Eva could not contain her excitement, but Zeus was getting silent by the day. Eva did not perceive this change, but their discussions were getting shorter. One month passed in a flash for Eva – D day arrived. Eva kept pinging Zeus till she boarded the flight and he kept sending back emoticons with various expressions. There was a bounce in Eva’s stride and had a big grin on her cherubic face. It was matter of a couple of hours before she would be able to see Zeus, hug him, hold him tight. The thought of being with Zeus filled her with unknown anticipation and exhilaration.

As she exited the arrival gate, she looked around for Zeus and found him waiting for her. He had landed a couple of hours earlier. She dashed towards him and hugged him tight. Zeus was taken aback with this sudden and uninhibited expression of excitement. He pushed her back, held her at arm’s length and smiled. Eva was so excited that she did not notice Zeus pale face when she tipped on her toes to kiss him on his cheek. Zeus went speechless looking at Eva. She was even more beautiful up close. Her long black curly hair were pulled up in a top bun, flashing dragon tattoo at the nape of her neck, with just a few strands escaping from the sides framing her delicate face. He had always liked her dimpled smile, but today, it was wreaking havoc within him. She had done her eyes with charcoal black liner which accentuated her perfectly shaped eyes. Her smell was enticing. She was a total bohemian and carried herself with that air of self-assurance and free spirit. Eva was chattering away, as she always did – whether it was on chat or video calls. Zeus, however, was subdued. It was as if cat got his tongue. He was totally in awe of Eva. She was holding his hand as if they knew each other forever. Well, they did know each other for a while but Zeus was flummoxed at Eva’s wanton behavior. She was oblivious to Zeus’s reaction. She was just very ecstatic to be with her bae.

As they arrived at the hotel, Eva was surprised that Zeus had booked separate rooms for them. She was a little disappointed but pleased at the same time that Zeus was thinking beyond sex and really wanted to spend time with her, to know her better. As for love making, she would manage it; she thought mind-winking to herself! Two days flew by with lot of sightseeing, roadside eating, shopping, selfies, and late-night discussions. To Eva’s surprise and annoyance, Zeus thwarted her carnal advances politely but firmly. Eva was still elated about their rendezvous, but something was different with Zeus. He was unable to accept bohemian Eva; her zeal for life, infectious uninhibited laughter, her promiscuity. This is what he loved in her, and yet!

At the airport, Eva bid a teary goodbye to Zeus with the promise to ping as soon as she landed. Zeus too hugged her tight and pecked on her forehead surprising Eva. Both parted ways to go to their respective gates; Eva turning back every few steps and Zeus walking away straight.

Eva never got to know why Zeus blocked her on all the social media platforms once they were back from the Jaipur trip, why was she ghosted!! Well, even Zeus did not know the reason; was the very nature of Eva that he loved so much was too much for him to handle?

****

Disclaimer: Use of “Tinder” is only to make story contemporary. Author does not personally promote use of any online platform, including “Tinder”.


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Sakhi's Laghukatha by Sakhi (aka Dr. Dhara Shah) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at sakhi.laghukatha@gmail.com.

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