Posts Tagged ‘Separation’
“I loved him with all my heart, for years
Then one day I started loving myself too
And we separated!!”
Nobody knew how Sahil felt or thought. He kept to himself. Kavita was exactly opposite to him. She was chirpy, bubbly and very talkative! If she was like waves of the ocean he was like an anchor, firmly rooted to the ocean-bed. Though Kavita had accepted him she missed sharing his thoughts. But whenever she had these kinds of thoughts, Sahil would do something very sweet and all her anger and disappointment will evaporate.
But these days Sahil was very happy and for a change, it showed in his behaviour too. In their marriage of two years, this was the first time Kavita heard him whistle! Well, she was happy too!
She was pregnant!
Kavita was pampered silly in those nine months. Sahil would drop her to her office and was always there to pick her up, he would see to it that kavita got the best of everything! This was to say the least…
Today was the D-day and Kavita was very scared. Her labour was induced in the morning at 7 but somehow the drugs were taking all the time in the world to act. Sahil was there besides her like a rock. She was writhing in pain and was totally exhausted. After a very difficult labour she delivered her child at 5 in the evening.
She looked at Sahil for the sign of happiness or any sign, for that matter! But she was not prepared for what she saw! She saw the veil coming down on his face, he grew completely rigid and then she lost him! He left the room without a second glance.
Kavita got scared. She didn’t understand what happened! She looked at her mother and saw tears streaming down her face.
She wanted to scream….
“Can somebody tell me, what’s going on here? Where is my baby?”
Nobody said anything. She was cleaned and taken to the recovery room. Her mind was about to explode.
Then the nurse entered with a little bundle in white. She could see the baby’s face. The baby looked absolutely cute and adorable. But as the nurse placed the baby in her arms she knew that something was wrong.
Not something, everything was wrong!
Her son was a stillborn!
She just looked at her son, kissed his forehead and caressed him lovingly. She asked for forgiveness for letting him down and not been able to take care of him. She just stared at him.
When the nurse came again to pick him up, she didn’t even protest!
But then all hell broke loose and tears would not stop.
She longed to be held by Sahil.
He was nowhere in sight.
“He had completed the formality and went straight home. To prepare for her arrival!” her mother told.
Kavita was discharged within two days and these two days were the toughest of her life.
She saw Sahil after two days when he came to pick her up.
When she entered her home she was in for a second shock. Her home, no now it can’t be called a home, the house was stripped off everything that bore any sign of their child’s arrival.
She saw Sahil drift from her and everything else, day after day. He had retreated in a cocoon.
They no longer communicated, in any sense!
She tried her level best but couldn’t cross the invisible wall that Sahil had erected around his heart. Now, it was getting difficult to bear the silence. She felt as if it was her fault that their son had not survived.
Last year on this date Sahil had lost his son.
Today he is going to lose his wife. For good!
Sridhar couldn’t sleep the whole night. It was his wedding night and he was tossing and turning in his bed. According to the rituals in his caste the husband and wife are not allowed to consummate the marriage until they have been to the “kuldevi” for “aashirvaad”.
Sridhar’s marriage to Pallavi was not a love marriage nor had they met each other before marriage for more than a couple of instances! But Pallavi’s dove like eyes, her soft smile and princess like demure had bewitched Sridhar. He had waited for this day, oops night, for so long! Damn, the rituals!
Everybody teased him in the morning as he went down to meet his new wife to take her to the temple. He tried show anger but the smile playing on his lips gave away his mood.
It had been six years since then. Sridhar and Pallavi were envied for their love and understanding for each other. They were inseparable and had become best friends.
Sridhar was very upset today. He could hear Pallavi screaming with pain from across the door. He wanted to be on her side in such pain but elders in his family restrained him from entering the labour room.
“Damn rituals!” he thought.
Suddenly the screams died down and the nurse came out to call the father of the baby. As he went inside the room he saw a little bundle in white with only a pink face glowing from inside. He would not forget this sight ever. His daughter looked so tiny and so beautiful, just like her mother! He wanted to jump around like a kid. Pallavi slept peacefully. The exhaustion didn’t show on her face.
Suddenly on the next day of the delivery Pallavi started bleeding heavily. She had suffered from secondary post partum haemorrhage and the bleeding was not at all getting controlled.
With a blow from the blue, Pallavi passed away, with the same softness sealed on her beautiful face.
Sridhar didn’t cry, didn’t cry at all! He was absolutely shocked.
He had not only lost the mother of his new born child but his wife, his best friend, his soul mate!
He kept starring at the photograph somebody from the family had got enlarged, framed and garlanded. He just kept starring at her. Suddenly he heard his baby cry and something broke lose inside him. Tears started pouring as he saw his wife being prepared for her final journey.
She looked even more beautiful than usual.
As he started to go along with his wife for her cremation he was stopped by his Tau.
“Tu nahi jaa sakta, beta!”
”But why? She is my wife!” Sridhar was bewildered.
“Abhi teri ummar hi kya hai? Hamaare samaaj mein jiski shaadi phir se ho sakti hai woh smashaan nahi ja saktaa!”
“What are you talking about, Tau? It’s only been 12 hours since Pallavi is no more and you guys have started thinking about my remarriage?” Sridhar was absolutely shocked.
“But, you have to think of your child also…” Tau trailed off.
“Whether I remarry or not or whether my child needs a mother or not is not the question at the moment. My wife has passed away and I am going to bid her the farewell and that’s all!”
“But, beta... the rituals says…”
“To hell with your rituals, to hell with everything….” Sridhar’s thunderous voice echoed in the large hall….