Sakhi's Laghukatha

Dream Girl

Posted on: November 3, 2009

fiction_stamp2There she was! He ran after her, was about to tap on her shoulder but she vanished into the thin air. He was baffled, he frantically searched for her but she was no where to be seen. It was as if she was playing “Catch me if you can” game with him. He was desperate to see her face, but she eluded him. He could spot her from distance but as soon as he reached just near her she would disappear. He tried to call after her but his voice failed him. He fell down on his knees in that dark alley and watched his dream girl float away.

He woke up with a start… looked around and smiled to himself, shaking his head. He had this dreams since a long time. He never understood the context. His dream always ended up with that girl floating away. There was some lyrical mystery surrounding her. Sometimes he found himself reciting some verses for her in his dreams. Most of the times he didn’t remember but sometimes he did and he would write it down immediate after waking up. He had now a handsome collection of these poems. In his dreams she would, too, leave her diary at various places for him to read. She wrote such beautiful prose. If only he could see her face once! He sighed and got up to get ready for his job.

As he was blog hopping one day he came across this blog whose author, he found, had the same style of writing as his “dream girl”. He read post after post and got hooked to it. He tried to find out about this anonymous writer through “about page” but came up with almost nothing. The things mentioned in there were non-committal. He waited for her (he was sure it was HER!) new post thirstily, as if his life depended on it. Over a period of time he could manage to develop a good rapport with the author but she was still eluded him. How much ever he tried, she would not allow him to know her in real life. She now became his obsession. He would check her blog every half an hour to see if she had replied to his comments or if she had published a new post. He would become agitated or depressed if she did not reply to his comments. He would feel on top of the world if she so much as put a smiley as a reply to his comments.

Things started changing when more and more people started visiting the “unknown blog” and “she” would reply to all of her commenters with the same gusto. He started feeling jealous. He started feeling left out. He felt as if his world was coming apart….

I am not sure how to end this story. Can you guys help?

74 Responses to "Dream Girl"

Me the first!🙂 Yaay!😉

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😆 you too falling for this ???😆

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Hmmm… I don’t quite know how to complete this one 😐

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hmmm… lets see if anyone else comes up with something good🙂

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good one… :D…hmm not sure how to end…but maybe if he has a blog then he can try and write posts that would interest her…that way she starts liking the similarities between them and they connect that way?…making any sense?

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hmmm… good one🙂

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So he became a troll and started spamming her blog😀😀

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Hahahhaaaaaa!!!!! Too funny!

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waiting to read Anshul’s suggestion.😛

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He has stopped commenting long back… lets see if your comment can bring him back😉

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Crazy guy !!! He should probably mail her with a fake id, as a girl and then get to know about her whereabouts ! and then he comes to know that its a ‘he’, not a ‘she’ !!😀

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😆😆 sahi hai yeh to…😀

“…nd then he comes to know that its a ‘he’, not a ’she’ !!” Majja aagayaa!

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Nice one Sakhi… But I cant think about an ending now… Will think and tell my suggestion tomo…
Actually I didnt faced this problem much as most my stories developed from the ending🙂

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Waiting for your version🙂

And i too usually have a end in my mind but this time i got stuck🙂

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Ha ha Kanagu😉 Gud one😛

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I agree with Reema😀 I think this is what spammers feel😀

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Naughty girls !!😀 😀

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…his world was falling apart, not only his world but world around him was falling apart too. Economies entered depression. Tech bubble burst, huge data centers went bankrupt, the era of web 2.0 and cloud computing came to end. And like many zillions of blogs, her girl’s blog too vanished in to thin air. He saw his dream girl floating away again, disappearing and he smiled to himself. déjà vu!

**The End**

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wah..wah…

too good man!!😀 😀

Loved this ending!

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LOL😀 So I brought him back!!

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Looks like that!🙂

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And then one fine day, he decided that enough was enough. He decided to move on. He stopped commenting.

He still read the posts as and when they were published. But that’s all he did – read. No comment. Sometimes, he would shed silent tears. At other times, he would read them with stoic eyes.

This decision was helping him. His obsession started fading with each passing day, with each passing post. And then, for the first time, she realized she was missing his comments, his quaint online presence that had for such a long time revolved around her.

First she assumed that some urgent work must have devoured him so totally that he did not have enough time to check out her blog. She refused to believe that he could have been reading but not commenting. But then, months passed by and gradually she was convinced that she had lost him forever. Or, was there still a faint light of hope? She thought there was.

She had his e-mail id. Exactly an year after he had last commented, she left him a mail: ‘hey, how are you? Remember me? Shall we catch up sometime’?

She wondered if she was ever going to get a reply. She kept checking her inbox for the rest of the day, every hour. No mail came. Until next day morning.

When she saw a reply, oh how elated she was. With nervous fingers she tapped on the keyboard to open his reply.

‘Hey there. Sure. Long time! Me and my wife shall be glad to catch up with you. We like your stories very much. Do let us know when and where. C u. Take care’.

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Cooooooooooooolllllll… this is something i would have loved to write!😀 😀

Welcome aboard Amrit🙂 🙂

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Wow! This is cool 8)

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@ Sakhi, you missed another girl …the one who follows him around blogoshpere silently suffering his tender comments and hugs on ‘her’ blog. What about that poor soul?? Spare some lines for that lonely heart too😛😛

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Good point swaps… when i complete this story (IF i do so!) will keep this in mind for sure!!😛 😛

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he was sure it was HER! – Smart eh😉 I can’t even say he then realizes its a boy😛

May be write a post abt his dream and the prose she writes and then mention he finds some reality too to go with it in one of the blogs he reads😛😛😛

Or better, try to ignore her blog for sometime and c if she misses him😉

I am dying to read hw u end this one!
Superb – loved the way u added the blogging wala masala to it😉

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Haa..haa.. “blogging wala masala” 😆 this tell you how much i am now addicted to blogging!😉 😀 😀

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He started an anonymous blog himself and brought her to it somehow, but refused to reveal who he was (tit for tat! ;))

He met a lot of other bloggers (female ;)) through his new blog and finally thought it was time to move on!!

She wasn’t worth the wait and all that effort! He had wasted enough time on her, he met people who were way better than her and decided to end it forever.🙂

He is now happily engaged to a cute and intelligent blogger and they are going to be married next year!

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wah anu wah!🙂 very practical ending!🙂

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If only it were so practical that I end up with one too! lol😉

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He then seeked advise of the hitchwriter… the love guru… !!!!😛😛

Hitchwriter suggested some simple formulas

1.) to stop commenting on her blog.. !!

2.) comment on all blogs where she comments generously !!

3.) interact with other female bloggers with extra enthusiasm so that she noticed.. !!!

but alas…. before any of these comments could work..!!!!

She suddenly put a post that she was engaged !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😛😛😛

Heartbreak !!!!!!!!!!!!

sigh… lol… got busy in between and so had to end this abruptly !!!!!

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I am not suggesting you to any of my freinds for “love-lecture”… you will spoil any single chance they have!!😛 😛 😀

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While he wished, this girl would be his soul mate there was another girl who had been visiting guy’s blog and commenting waiting for him to feel the same way he was feeling for her.

his dream girl and this new girl were best friends so since her best friend was in love with guy. she tried not to disclose identity and tried to keep a distance from the guy so that one love story completes and friendship also stays.

complex circle of friendship n love it was

sat sri akal.😉

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O bete!! mein chakkar mein pad gayi!!😀 😀 sab gol gol…
😆 😆

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I’d rather play it safe and say what Amrit said fitted perfectly into the story line…absolutely hilarious🙂

Wonderfully penned,Sakhi🙂

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Thaankoooooooo Deeps!🙂

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He mailed the author, they met later on sometime and then they got married. After 6 months, he thought how sweet and beautiful those longing dreams were and how starkingly different reality is!!😛

Destination Infinity

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..And they got divorced!🙂

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My ending:
He thought he would try and make her jealous by never addressing her, but some other commentator, a girl. He would choose the prettiest commentator and then tell her what a wonderful comment it was and how intelligent it was! Once he even dared to go as far as to tell the commentator that the comment was better than the post. After this comment he waited with bated breath, sure that this would provoke his blog love! To his disappointment, there was no reaction. In fact from then on he noticed that she had stopped replying to his comments altogether. She was ignoring him on her own blog! How dare she! Didn’t she realise how much trouble he was taking, by commenting on her blog, reading every single word she wrote not just in her post, but also in the replies she gave to commentators? He was giving her traffic, he was participating and she had now started to ignore him. He decided he would teach her a lesson. He was going to start his own blog and expose her for the kind of person she was! A woman who did not appreciate her own commentators. Such a blogger did not deserve to have commentators!
He started his own blog and wrote down his story for all to see. He linked to her most recent post, hoping the pingback would inform people about his post. To his disappointment the pingback was deleted!
Then he started writing abusive comments, mean comments and they were all deleted. Then he started writing to her but got no reply. In fact after a while he found he could not comment at all! She must have blocked him somehow!
But it was okay, he had found someone else. There was a blogger who was new and she was paying attention to him! And strangely his dreams had changed. It was the writing style of this new blogger which his dream girl now had.

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Good one Nita!!🙂 🙂

LOVED the way the girl handled him!😀 😀

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I think I’ll wait for the “real” ending!

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All these posted are REAL endings… after reading such gems, i CAN’T DARE to write!!🙂 🙂

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Well I am not good at it but here is my take:

http://falcon-eyes.blogspot.com/2009/11/dream-girl-my-take-1.html

I thought the content was too big for a comment!

And sorry for lifting off the idea without permission

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…And in his temporary insanity, he snatched his heavy computer tower and hurled it out the window of his 10th storey apartment. It would not cause him such jealousy ever again!

The computer tower crashed down to earth, its dramatic fall broken only by the head of an innocent and unsuspecting person standing at the bus stop directly below.

The smashing window and then the crash below jerked him out of his blinding rage. He raced to the smashed window to see what had happened to his computer. To his horror, he could make out the shape of a broken body lying on the footpath 10 storeys below. A crowd of people were gathering around the body. Some were looking skyward and scratching their heads, trying to work out where the computer had come from. Others were screaming.

He felt a jolt of adrenaline surge through his body. What if that person lying on the footpath below was dead? What would happen. He would be charged with murder. Manslaughter at the very least. Oh God. What had he done in his moment of insanity over this mystery girl who existed only in the recesses of his mind? How could he be SO insane over a figment of his imagination.

His thoughts churned. He could hide. He could run away. If they couldn’t find him then no one could prove that he had thrown the computer. No one had to know.

A loud knock at the front door startled him. His heart raced. Was that the police? Could they have figured out already that it was he, who had thrown the murderous computer??? They would throw him in prison and throw away the key. He could not live in prison. No. Never.

He decided that he had to take charge of this situation. He would not rot in prison for this…this…accident. That’s all it was. An accident. He laughed hysterically as the knocking on his door got louder and more urgent. And then took action.

Moments later, the crowd gathered on the footpath 10 storeys below his window was thrown into complete chaos as the body of a man came crashing down from the heavens, onto the body that lay there already, dead. Some screamed hysterically at the macabre sight of the man and woman, seemingly smashed together in death.

If he was still alive, would he have recognised the woman lying under him in death, as the woman who had been haunting his dreams? Slowly chipping away at his sanity for all this time.

Upstairs on the 10th floor, outside the door of the apartment from which the computer and then the man had flown the window, a little girl knocked hard – hoping the man inside would open the door so she could ask him, “Trick or Treat?”

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Et tu sio?

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Oui. Et moi Swaps!

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😆 tsk..tsk.. bechara hero!🙂

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What have all these reader have against a poor fellow whose only ‘fault’ is to love a anonymous person…not one happy ending. Too bad…

Bhagwan ek kusoor ki etni badi sazaa
Duniya teri ehi hai to duniya se mein chala..

*

Duniya ki zaalimon ne chalali yoh aandiya
….chalali yoh aandiya
Saare charag bhuj gaye mein dekta reh gaya.

Duniya teri ehi hai to duniya se mein chala…*

* the chorus is by all you heartless bloggers.

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I think you should write a happy ending and put things right for our hero!🙂

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Don’t like the sound of ‘ending’….happy or otherwise.😐

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“One man’s ending
Is another man’s beginning
Everything is good for you”

by: Crowded House

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I agree with “Everything is good for you”😛

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TSK..TSK… swaps, tuh i likh de ek achcha ending!!! pata to chale what you want it to end as…

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Awww!!!!

I would make him track her through some way or the other!!!

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🙂 romantic soul you are!😉

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A bit long one… but please do read…

He had discovered this person who was exactly like he wanted his life partner to be; but it was so difficult to lift the veil and see who lies behind it.

In the midst of all this, he had to go out to a remote village for some family work for about a week. As there was no internet connectivity in that village, he was not able to check her blog. With each passing day, he felt as if an important part of his life was missing. When he returned home, the first thing what he did, even before removing his shoes, was to check her blog. He was surprised at what he saw – there was no new post. Generally she used to write a post everyday.

That night he had the same dream. Next morning, when he checked her blog, there was a new post. And she had recited the same thoughts that he had seen his dream girl write last night. After a few more days, he could see a strange pattern. The thoughts and verses that were posted on the blog were similar to what he saw in his dream.

One night, when he was following his dream girl and watching her pen down a beautiful poem, he suddenly got a big jolt. Like something striking on his head very hard. It took a great effort even to open his eyes. Through the gap between his eyelids, he could see his mother trying to wake him up with a phone in her hand. “It’s your friend Ravi’s call… from US… you know what happened. He got…” – before she finished her sentence, he fainted.

Next morning, he woke up abruptly placed on his bed. When he asked his mother, she said, “What happened last night… I’ve told you not to sit in front of computer so late… you know how you fainted and your head just dropped on the desk…”. It seemed as if he was still not completely awake, and his mind could not place these things properly. He walked to his computer and moved the mouse. The words written on the screen seemed familiar. These were the verses that he saw in the dream – they were now written in a new blog post in edit mode. His mind just couldn’t pace with the events that were unfolding. When he tried logging out, he saw that it was not his login. This was the blog of the mysterious author. “Mom, who came to my room yesterday night”, he shouted.
“No one… who comes to your room anyway… and why do you stay awake so late at night… nowadays I have seen you many times sitting as late as 4:AM…”.
“But Mom, you know I go to sleep before 12… and why should I…”, his sentance remained incomplete.

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Wow… this is awesome!🙂 Absolutely brilliant! LOVED it!🙂

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Thanks… great to know that u liked it..

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this is brilliant !!!

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Except that it is not possible. It is impossible for someone to read in his sleep/dreams

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Nice, the story has potential for many different kinds of continuations!🙂

As long as there are weird endings, how about this – the guy was not having a dream but a dream of a dream! Suddenly he does wake up for real & logs on to internet, checks the URL he visited in his dream & lo.. there’s no blog at that URL, it was his sub-concious playing tricks on him while he was asleep for the last 12-13 hours, eh!😉

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Hey you left readers high and dry! Lol.. I was reading with great interest to see whats going to happen! Please think up and ending and let us know what happened!🙂

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Enjoyed reading all the endings!!!

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Me being me, if I start, this might never end, so I am keeping mum…if no one else writes an ending I will🙂 (or is it better left incomplete?)

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This is a real twister for your blog.

Well, here is my version of the ending.

…He just didn’t know what to do. He thought the best solution would be to take a break. He applied for leave and left for a long trek to Himalayas. He was a part of a team which would assemble in Haridwar and leave for Uttarkashi. Take the trekking gears and move to Gangotri where they would trek till Kirtistambh base camp.

Things were working out well. By the time he was in Uttarkashi, he was able to mingle with the team and he was surprised that he was able to come out of the miserable feeling. He enjoyed the drive from Haridwar to Uttarkashi and the lovely scenic drive from Uttarkashi to Gangotri. He, his team and a group of porters started their trek from Gangotri. Their first night halt was in a place called Chirubas. He loved the wilderness of the great mountains. He met a lot of trekkers who had finished their trekking and were returning to Gangotri. The next campsite was in Bhojbas. This was a proper resting place with cot, toilet etc. There were a lot of people that evening, as many of them had cut short their trekking and were on their way back to Gangotri. The weather forecast was not very good and expected light snow for the next two days. But his team was well prepared for light snow.

The place was more like a dormitory. The team did get a cot for each but they were scattered all around. After dinner he crashed on to his bed but a noise woke him up at around 10 in the night. The person on the other cot apologized for creating the sound. He didn’t mind it. After a brief introduction of each other, they began to talk on a lot of subjects. They seemed to have struck a chord. They talked about each other passions. Very soon he felt like he knew this person. Her love for poetry and the words she used all along seemed too familiar to him. He loved her voice so much and he was sure it had to be his “Dream girl”. He wanted to ask but ego took the better of him. He tried to ask indirectly in a variety of ways which did not help his cause. He could only see the person’s silhouette in the dark of the night. He decided to see her face in the morning and make his first move.

When he woke up, she had already left. He felt a kind of shock. He looked for her frantically. “How could she…” he thought. She had left a couple of hours earlier with her team. He did not know what to do. He had not taken her contact no. He did know of her brief plans. She would be going to Gangotri, later Haridwar and then to Delhi where she would be in a certain 5 star hotel for a couple of days before leaving for France…

How is it so far?? Now try completing it.

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Waiting for the end😛

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I told na, i got stuck with the end! thats the reason i had to give “kasht” to you readers!!🙂 🙂

I was actually stuck yaar.. it was no gimmick!🙂 [just making sure, in case you had any doubt!!😛 😛 ]

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Ha ha ha .. I trust u😛

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Sakhi's Laghukatha by Sakhi (aka Dr. Dhara Shah) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at sakhi.laghukatha@gmail.com.

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