Blessings… her point!
Posted by: Sakhi on: July 2, 2009
- In: Life| Love| Relationship| romance
- 34 Comments
Aakriti felt so agitated that Aakaash was going to be at the conference. It had been 15 years since she had seen him. 15 years since they had spoken. Since she had told him that her life was to be tied to another. It was her parents’ decision, steeped in tradition. She had hoped that Aakaash would protest – that he would fight for her. But her had just sat there with his mouth hanging open. She had waited for him to call. Hoped. And then the hope faded away. Perhaps her mother had been right – perhaps Aakaash had jut seen her as some minor amusement to pass the time – but not to marry.
But she had accepted her fate as graciously as she could. Until she discovered that her husband did not want her at all. His parents had arranged the marriage and even waived any dowry requirements, to keep a cover on their respectabilility and the fact that their son preferred men. He was gay and saw this arranged marriage as yet another rejection by his parents. He resented Aakriti, not because he had a problem with her specifically, but because of what she represented in his life. Her parents had been so thrilled that they did not have to worry about the dowry. It was something that had weighed on them for so many years, since the birth of their daughter.
So Aakriti threw herself into her work. It was her only solace. Her only outlet and escape from the realities of her personal life. And at first it worked. Her colleagues treated her with the respect due a woman, ostensibly successful in her professional and personal life. But as the years passed, and she continued to live the lie to protect her parents from the truth, to keep the facade of respectibility, it became hareder to cope with the questions of when she was going to have a baby – something she wanted so much – of her in-laws’ taunts about her barren womb, even though they knew the truth about their son. Aakriti hardened herself. If she was gruff with people at the outset, then they would not ask questions that she didn’t want to face, let alone answer.
So now, all these years later, she dressed carefully as she prepared to meet Aakaash, her one true love again. And yet as she applied her lipstick so carefully, she saw the harsh lines on her face. In place of laugh lines, there were frown lines. In place of smooth skin across high cheek bones, there was blotchy, loose skin that gathered in folds across her jowls and neck. Her face showed the ravages of so many years of trying not to care. It could not be turned back now.
And then she saw Aakaash at the conference. She felt herself light up as she observed him. She hoped to make at least the connection of friendship, after all these years. And she felt her internal light dim as his eyes moved towards her and then passed over her in complete lack of recognition. When his eyes returned to her, she saw him trying to place her and then the shock as he recognised that it was her, Aakriti. She was about to go up to him when he hurriedly excused himself and fled from the room. And she realised that he didn’t really want to see her at all.
The realisation was like a rock on her heart. And yet, she composed herself once again and found strength in her work as she had so often before. When she had her work, she didn’t need anybody and they could not hurt her in any way. She ignored Aakaash for the rest of the conference because to talk to him would be too painful. Not just for the love she had lost 15 years ago, but also for his rejection now. And she knew that her mother had been right all those years ago – Aakaash had never thought of Aakriti seriously – she had just been his play thing for a little while. And now she was finally free of all the romantic illusion that she had created for herself – and she could throw herself completely into her work.
———————————-
This work is by a dear reader. She wrote this as a comment but I thought it deserved to be a full post. Thanks sioneve! 
Blessings…
Posted by: Sakhi on: June 23, 2009
- In: Fiction| Life| Love| Relationship| Separation| romance
- 53 Comments
Aakaash was going back to India after almost fifteen years. He was called as a guest speaker in one of the conferences.
He was sure to meet Aakriti in the conference. They both were from the same subject and she too, he had heard, was one of the leading surgeons of the country.
He was excited, he was nervous, he was scared too! Scare to meet her, to visit lost lane of his life once again. But he had to do it… fifteen years was a pretty long period and he wanted to get over her. Finally!!!
He remembered all those years when he wanted to settle down, wanted to love someone else the way he had loved Aakriti, somehow he just couldn’t. He had his share of affairs, he even wished for some of them to grow into something serious. But in most cases he couldn’t go beyond a few dates and in other circumstances the girls weren’t ready to fight a “ghost” girlfriend!
All his energy was channelized towards his profession and he was one of the leading surgeons of US of A with international fame. The opportunity to go to his homeland had presented itself many a times in the past but he couldn’t bring himself to face his past. Had it not been for his sister to emotionally blackmail him, he wouldn’t have come this time too!
The conference organizers had sent a driver who took him to the hotel where his stay was arranged. He left his luggage in the room and joined the organizers in the conference room. The conference was to start the next day. He tried to find out about the delegates and didn’t find Aakrit’s name. He was a bit disappointed and relieved too since he now found it difficult to face her. But as he was about to retire to his room, he saw a few other speakers joining them and was shocked to see Aakriti among them.
They smiled at each other cordially and he excused himself on the pretext of jet lag. The world was spinning in front of his eyes. Was she the same girl whom he had loved for so long? She had changed with years and the life had not been very kind to her. Or so her face told him! No, he was not only thinking about the grey strands in her jet black hair or the over all appearance. He was bothered about what he saw on her face…the deep lines of worry or probably hatred towards life or something similar! What bothered him even more was the lifelessness in her eyes. Could he be mistaken? He vowed to find that out in the couple of days that they are going to be together. Presently he wanted to sleep. He dozed off as soon as he closed his eyes.
The next day was very hectic with online surgery techniques and other deliberations. Aakaash did not find time to meet Aakriti alone. In-fact he had forgotten all about her during the day time when the scientific sessions were on. They came face to face again at the banquette in the evening. He found her distant, probably she too was fighting with the demons of their past!
As the evening proceeded, he observed that she didn’t seem to be the person he used to love. She was gruff to the point of being impolite even with the senior surgeons present there and down right abusive to the volunteers of the conference. And as he got to talking with other delegates he came to know that this was her usual behaviour. If she was not so skillful in her surgery she would probably not be called anywhere.
At night Aakaash was unable to sleep. What happened in those fifteen years? She was so sweet and full of life when they were dating! He remembered clearly the day she had come to his hostel room and told him that she was getting married to someone who was a family friend. Just like that, she had dropped the bomb and had left. He sat on the edge of his wrought-iron bed, staring in the oblivion for a very long time. That day it had rained heavily, as if heavens were crying for him. He wished she had explained something, anything! She had just vanished from his life. She was junior to him in medical school. He had already completed his MS when he heard that she had joined the same department. He went to USA after that and tried not to know anything about Aakriti.
Watching her the next day acted as a balm to his wound. And finally he was totally free of her. Probably not marrying her was a blessing in disguise!!
But the blessings came fifteen years late!!
…
Posted by: Sakhi on: June 20, 2009
Aarohi opened her purse to pay for her shopping and found her purse to be empty of cash. It was good that she was carrying credit card. She made a mental note to talk to Mahir about this. “At least he should have informed me if he took the money” she thought, fuming.
Later that evening after dinner she broached the subject up with Mahir.
“Have you taken money from my purse?”
“Nope. Why do you ask?”
“No? This is the third time in last two months that some money is missing from my purse. I thought you might have taken it for some reason. But when I found that $100 was missing again today, I wanted to confirm.”
“WHAT? Are you serious! But why didn’t you tell me this before?Anyway, how much have you lost till now?”
“About $200…”
There was shock on Mahir’s face. There were only three people in their home. They and their seven year old kid!
Now Aarohi was at lost. Who could be taking the money? She thought of baby sitter or the maid who came once a week for cleaning the apartment, but on thinking harder she concluded that they might not be the culprits.
They forgot about the incidence in a couple of days. “
Why are you crying?” Aarohi asked Bittoo when she went to pick him up from school one day. He didn’t reply. She could make out that he was trying to control but failed to stop tears smearing his cute little face. She didn’t probe more. She hugged him and they came home. But Bittoo sulked the rest of the day and refused to go to school the next day. He went finally to school after a lot of cajoling. But his tantrums increased day by day. Aarohi and Mahir noticed the behavioural changes but they attributed it to the new school, new environment and new friends.
As the days passed Bittoo became introvert and hardly talked to them or anybody. He no longer demanded to listen to a story before going to bed. In fact he no longer demanded for anything. Aarohi and Mahir started contemplating to visit his school and talk to his teachers.
Aarohi went to see Bittoo at night once he was fast asleep. Looking at his cherubic face her eyes welled up.
“What has happened to my little boy?” she started crying softly and bent to kiss her son. As she started going out she saw that Bittoo was holding something in his fist. She was shocked to find $50 note crumpled in his tiny hand. She just collapsed on the bed and sat there holding her head in her hands.
“Where had they gone wrong? Was it due to this foreign land and its culture? Was it something else?” She didn’t know how long she sat there holding her child’s hand.
Fire!
Posted by: Sakhi on: June 15, 2009
- In: 55er| Fiction| Love
- 54 Comments
There was fire in his eyes…
Fire of love, fire of jealousy, fire of betrayal…
Betrayal?
Why?
She was his friend, nothing else, or so he said, time and again!
“Congratulations!” he said, with fire in his eyes and bouquet in his hands!
P.S. Tried 55er for the first time. Haven’t used all 55 words though. Hope I haven’t disappointed you guys
An evening with myself…
Posted by: Sakhi on: May 28, 2009
I was stranded at the airport for about five hours. Reaching home looked like a distant dream. I was bored of reading magazines and news papers. I closed my eyes in a hope to catch up on some sleep. I tried to relax, but human mind is fleeting and so was mine (though my subordinates thought of me as one of the most inhuman bosses!!). I was tempted to flick open my laptop and work. I suppressed the idea.
There was one more announcement of further delay in the flight departure.
I closed my eyes again. Suddenly dad’s face flickered in front of my eyes and I almost reached out to touch him. It vanished as soon as it had appeared! I missed him sometimes… only sometimes! I wondered if I was a normal person. Nothing in my life was indispensable! Or was it?
I remembered that day when my favourite doll went missing. One of the servants or kids might have filched it. My mom was worried how I would manage without that doll. I practically took it everywhere I went. Even to the toilet! I proved my mother wrong. One of the other dolls took my fancy and the older one was forgotten as if it never existed. I was all of three years then!
When I grew up a bit, mom went for her further studies to US of A, leaving me and my dad in India. I missed her. Thankfully she came back in a year and I was glad. This one year made me closer to dad. I started doting on him. A few years later, when the family’s financial condition was compromised due to some social reasons, mom went overseas again to make more money. I cried a lot. I didn’t want her to go. She cajoled and tried her level best to make me understand why it was important for her to go. I understood… I cried for her again only a couple of times in another decade to come. Dad hardly had time to be with me! I came to know very late in my life that his office closed at 5:30 pm! Till date I am not sure where he used to be till 9 or 10 pm! I found solace in my friends. They became my family.
Time flew by; I entered into professional course and with that a new chapter began. I had to go to hostel. The idea of going to a new place, a new life, thrilled me. My so called “boyfriend” of two years cried a lot when I told him about my going away. I should have been happy at this display of emotions, instead I felt nauseated. I tried keeping in touch with him initially, though things didn’t work out after all. I, now, don’t remember who snapped the ties, but we no longer communicated.
I was excited about the new place, meeting new people and the whole idea of becoming a doctor! I remembered my first party. How excited I was! I had never been to a dance party before. My expectations, though, were ill founded. The whole idea of male and female bodies covered in sweat, touching here and there with gyrating movements; repulsed me. I tasted alcohol for the first time on insistence of my friends. I am unable to contemplate how a bitter thing like that can be savoured so much! The whole scene had an anti-climatic effect on me. I rushed out of the hall for some fresh air. Saw Aashish, a classmate, loitering there. We smiled a “hello-we-know-each-other” smile. He too wasn’t enjoying the party, he told me. That was the first time we had talked to each other. I wanted to go back to hostel and he offered to drop me. I accepted. A few days later, he proposed (of course not for marriage, yet!), I declined. He proposed again, stopped eating food and friends started pressuring me. I gave in. I regret that decision of my life even today. He screwed up 5 years of my life or more aptly put, I let him! I still am not sure how I ever told him that I loved hi.We parted our ways and I vowed to myself not to let anybody rein my life again. In spite of turbulent four years, I am indebted to Aashish for one thing – I appreciate a lot of things in life more, which otherwise I would have taken for granted.
In spite of emotional turmoil, I topped university in the final year. Professional life had just begun. Tough working hours and excessive studies greeted me in postgraduate course. I loved it immensely.
At home, mom had started pestering me about marriage. Idea of an arranged marriage was quite queasy to me. But since I wasn’t ‘involved’ with anybody, I was compelled to “at least” see a few prospective beaus. I and Krunal exchanged our notes on those prospects. Somewhere down the line, we decided to get married to each other. I, now, don’t remember who proposed whom; though he maintains that it was me who proposed him. Thoughts of those early days brought smile on my face. He was perfect for me; my best friend!
Professionally I grew well, became one of the youngest corporate doctors of the State. My tenacity, punctuality and no-nonsense attitude earned me respect and money, also a title of “Lady Hitler” from my subordinates. What they don’t know is, I love this image of mine and the title too!
In the course of time, I drifted from my maternal family. Staying without mom for about 10 years in those crucial growing up years and then about 8 years in hostel made me more practical and somewhat emotionally blunt. When dad passed away a couple of years back, I didn’t feel a vacuum a child feels at losing her parent. I loved him because he was my father but we could never become friends. Mom complained about my gruff behaviour; characteristic unemotional, practical decisions I take; but lately she seems to have resigned herself from improving my behaviour. And its time too! She should have done my character building in my younger years. Now, it was too late. I didn’t hate her or resent her for going away. I just became indifferent. I think, I love her, but I am not very sure!
I came back from my reverie when someone tapped on my shoulder. The plane was held up and the crew was searching high and low for me!!
I sighed… it was too much of soul searching for the day or probably for days to come, though I didn’t get the answer to a question I was faced with for quite sometime now. Was I really as emotionally blunt as I was made out to be?
Sigh…
That Summer!
Posted by: Sakhi on: May 11, 2009
- In: Fiction| Friend| Friendship| Life| Love| Nostalgia| Relationship| friends| romance
- 52 Comments
This was her second trip to Tarkarli. As she was walking on the shore, she looked back on her footprints and wished the other pair was there too. The pair which was with hers that summer!
She had come to this coastal place, for the first time, a couple of years ago for a conference. And she had instantly fallen in love with the unexplored beauty and meditative sea waves of this “not-heard-of” place.
*****
After a long session on “New trends in antibio therapy” Koyal went and sat on a boat parked in the sand just outside her cottage. There was nobody around and the waves had soothing effect on her nerves. She was startled when she heard somebody call out her name, her pen name!
“Cuckoo!”
She was surprised as to who might know her pen-name here!
A handsome young man was coming towards her and was waving frantically. She waved back, more out of courtesy than recognition.
“Hey Cuckoo!”
He had a broad grin on his childlike face, as if he had discovered some treasure.
“Guess, who am I?” asked the young man with a twinkle in his eyes. She was at a loss but her sharp brain was already at work.
“Sameer?”
“How did you do that? How did you recognize me?” There was utter disbelief on Sameer’s face since neither had ever met nor seen each other’s pictures.
“Nobody except you in blogsphere knew where I was!” She smiled, as always. After all she was known as “Dr. Smiley” in blogsphere, wasn’t she!
“What are you doing here? She still couldn’t believe that Sameer was standing in front of her.
“I came to meet you. Aren’t you happy?” Koyal didn’t know how to respond. Of course she was happy… but wasn’t able to fathom why Sameer would come such a long way to meet her. They had become best of friends, online! Offline… they had their own lives, and neither had tried to trespass into that territory for so many years. It was an untold rule. So why now? She smiled again to his question. And saw the reciprocation on Sameer’s face.
It was awkward initially for both of them to talk face to face. The chat lingo no longer worked. But they WERE friends, so after the initial hiccup, they just went on … chatting away to glory. The hand-in-hand seashore walks gave heady feeling to Koyal. It was long since she felt this way for anybody. Neither of them realized where those four days went. The conference was already gone for a toss.
It was their last evening together. The mood was pensive. They sat on the white, sun-kissed sand sipping fenny looking at the setting sun on the horizon. Somehow the words failed the two chatterboxes. Fenny, sunset, waves and solitude was proving to be a dangerous cocktail. Sameer was scared to offend his friend. He kissed lightly, tentatively on Koyal’s lips and looked in her eyes. He could see the burning desire in those charcoal black eyes. The resultant fire would have been unstoppable had Sameer’s mobile not rang. The spell was broken. *****
*****
She pondered over the evening even now and she knew she wanted Sameer at that very point. Wanted with all her heart and body but thank God for the mobile. It saved her from doing something which she would have regretted later. Or probably Sameer would have! She was married and she was at least a decade senior to him. She couldn’t do that to him…just couldn’t.
Yet, she missed him besides her…
Mom
Posted by: Sakhi on: April 20, 2009
“Thud…” He was thrown on the bed so hard, he wailed, more from the shock than pain, which irritated his mother even more. And he got a tight slap again. Suddenly the bell rang and he was spared from getting strangulated. He was all of three months then.
Though he never had the memories of those incidents of younger years, he distinctly remembered when he wanted to sleep with his parents once. He was of four years. His father would have loved to have him with them but the look on his mother’s face told him otherwise. But a child that he was he tried to pursue her to allow him.
“You better sleep down there; else you know what I can do when your father isn’t there!”
Oh, he knew it very well. He urinated that night again in his bed. Of course one more punishment was waiting for him for spoiling the bed. He was stripped of his clothes and was made to stand in the balcony facing the road!
He never understood why his mother behaved the way she did. His father was always nice to him. And he had noticed that mother was a different woman around him. But he was scared to tell any of these atrocities to his father since he was threatened with more dire consequences if he ever dared to do so.
But for him the scenario became a bit more pleasant when his sister came to his world. He was overjoyed to have a little bundle of love. But he was horrified when the little baby was also thrashed the way he was! It was a pure miracle that the brother-sister duo survived.
Their love for each other was like a silver lining of the black cloud.
“Chinky, I have lost my sweater today at school. I went and tried to find it but I don’t know where I lost it!” He was almost in tears and was scared to go home to face his mother.
“Kuchh nahi hoga bhaiya, don’t worry!” Chinky tried to pacify her brother, who was shaking like a dry leaf.
Miraculously their mother didn’t say a word about the sweater and they both breathed sigh of relief. But it was indeed a short lived one. The next day when he was tying a knot to his pajama, his mother came and tied it so tight that it was difficult for him to even breathe. He was left that way the whole day and when he couldn’t hold back he peed in his pajama! Thrice, since he was not allowed to change his pajama!
He was 11 years then.
He always wished that some relative should come and stay with them since that was the only time his mother didn’t met out the “punishments” to the duo. He never understood what irked his mother. Everybody in his family and extended family praised him for his behaviour and he was in good in studies too. He always tried to please his mother. Somehow he never succeeded.
But recently his anger was brewing, especially when he saw his sister also getting the brunt without any fault of her. Yet, he was courteous in his behaviour lest something irked his mother!
But today when he came from school he saw his sister standing in balcony, facing the road… without clothes!!! Something snapped inside him.
He rushed up and covered his sister! His mother came menacingly. She had forgotten that her son was now no longer a young boy whom she can intimidate physically. But she did not stop and tried to remove the blanket from her daughter. He couldn’t hold himself any longer.
“Thud…..” with all the anger brewing for all these years he hit his mother.
“Try touching her once more and you can be sure that you will not live to see a new day in your life.” The thunder in his voice conveyed the message loud and clear.
He hugged his sister and took her away with tears running down his face. Tears of what, he couldn’t understand!
Love and life!
Posted by: Sakhi on: April 7, 2009
“Come on, yaar! I think when one is older the need of a spouse is even more. Be it a man or a woman.” Pankti remembered her own words when she had vehemently defended elderly remarriage among her group.
“What if, God forbid, your father was to do the same? What will be your reaction then? Pankti, it is one thing to talk about something and other when you actually have to follow it!” Krish had argued.
“No, I will always be at my dad’s side if he chooses to remarry after my mother!” She had replied strongly. The discussion went on and ended without a consensus. That was about two decades ago.
Pankti had never, ever thought that she would have to take such a decision in her life. The only difference was that the decision was to be taken for her mother instead of father. Why call it a decision? Her mother had given her a choice… a choice for her mother’s life!
Of course, Pankti was not averse to the idea. Or was she?
Why, then, since she has heard of it is she so upset?
Were her debates and the talks of (elderly) remarriage just empty talks? No. And, anyways, who was talking about marriage here? They just have decided to stay together, a few days at her mom’s place and a few days at “his” place.
“Then what’s your problem?” She asked herself.
Though she was still not comfortable with the whole idea, she had agreed to meet with “the man” whom her mother thought was a “very nice person” and “she would love to meet him”!
As the duo approached him, pankti was increasingly feeling nervous. She looked at her mother and could make out that she too was not in her usual chirpy mood. Pankti went into a kind of a shock when she met Mr. Shah. He was not at all what she had conjured up in her mind. He was a slight man with a pleasant personality and slowly she became comfortable in his company.
“What did you expect, idiot!!” She reprimanded herself. “He is supposed to be 65 years old, about your mother’s age.”
But his grey cells were nowhere near 65 years… he was a jovial man and well versed too. Slowly Pankti relaxed and forgot how apprehensive she was before coming here. And she looked at her mother, her smile was worth anything.
Later that night when she was thinking about Mahadeve i.e. Mr. Shah, she realized that she never had any problem with her mother being friends or more with anybody. But she was afraid of how the other person might turn out to be. It was as if she was thinking about her child’s matrimony and not her mother’s!
Today when she endorsed their friendship with a smile she truly felt she had become her mother’s mother!!
She has gone to a party…
Posted by: Sakhi on: March 25, 2009
- In: Anger| Anguish| Fiction| Food for thought| Kids| Life| Relationship
- 43 Comments
Dhruti had some time at hand as her daughter had gone to a neighbour’s place for a birthday party. She just relaxed and was flipping through the “Good Housekeeping” when the bell rang. She looked at Harsh in a hope that he would open it but he looked more intently in his newspaper as if he was doing PhD in journalism!!
She got up and opened the door and saw her daughter’s best friend standing there.
Bittoo: Aunty, is Krina home?
She: Arey, she has gone to Seema’s birthday party. Why aren’t you there? She called you too, isn’t it?
He: The party got over long back and Krina isn’t there.
Dhruti’s heart skipped a beat. Overhearing the conversation Harsh leaped on his feet and was besides her in a fraction of second. Their eyes met and they could see the dread in each other’s eyes.
In a few seconds thousands thoughts ran through their minds.
Where has she gone? She never goes anywhere with out telling us!
Somebody might have kidnapped her! Will she be forced to beg?
She is just of 5 odd years! There are vultures out there.
And many more horrid thoughts passed through their worried minds.
In those few seconds, they imagined the worst.
They ran in the street bare feet shouting out their daughter’s name. And then they heard her.
“Mamma!!!”
A joyous call to tell them she was with her friend in one of the neighbours’ place.
The look Krina saw on her parents’ faces made her feel uneasy. Dhruti almost slapped her in frustration and pulled her towards her. Hugged her so tightly that Krina almost couldn’t breath. Harsh’s eyes were glisteneing with unshed tears.
Again a look passed between them. As if asking each other, “Aren’t we getting paranoid?”
Were they really paranoid or is it a need of the day to be extremely vigilant and in turn suffocate a childhood!!!!!
GOD, Why me!!!!
Posted by: Sakhi on: March 2, 2009
- In: Anger| Anguish| Fiction| Food for thought| Life| Love| Marriage| Relationship
- 51 Comments
Khyaati woke up with a start. She tried to get up but slumped down due to excruciating pain in her left leg and she was hurting all over too. She was disoriented and didn’t remember what happened and where was she. She tried to focus around her but couldn’t recognize her surroundings but could make out that it was some sort of a hospital. She just lied there and tried to remember something, anything but she couldn’t come up with anything. As if a part of her was erased from her life! A grumpy, middle aged woman came to her and gave some sort of a shot in the tube that was running in her right hand. She remembered that she was with Kenshuk on her honeymoon. But how did she come here? What happened to her and why was Kenshuk not with her? So many questions clouded her mind. She wanted to ask the nurse about herself; what had happened to her, how did they get her here? But she couldn’t form the words. She lay there and closed her eyes. She dozed off again.
*****
She heard a lot of hushed voices and she tried to open her eyes. There she saw Kenshuk and tried to smile. There were worried lines on his face as he stood there listening to somebody who seemed to be a doctor in his white apparel. She tried to call him but she couldn’t talk. Her eyelids felt very heavy as if somebody had put a lot weight on them. She dozed off again.
*****
She opened her eyes and saw Kenshuk sitting besides her reading something. Her mom and dad and in-laws were all there. She tried to look around but her neck hurt a lot. The room was different. Kenshuk saw her and was on his feet at once. He ran to call the doctor and within a moment the room was abuzz with a lot of activity.
*****
She wanted to know a lot of things. But right now she was just pampered. The aches and pains were getting duller and she seemed to be her old self again. But she felt something amiss since she didn’t know what had happened or how the accident occurred. About two months were erased from her life when she was in coma and nobody was willing to fill in for her. Today she was to be discharged and was very happy to go home after so long. Once at home she pestered Kenshuk about the accident and why only she was affected. What happened? How come there were a lot of stitches around her private parts and also on her hands and legs. There were a lot of questions and now she needed the answers. Kenshuk finally snapped.
“You were raped!!”
Damn, he didn’t want to sound so rude. He had rehearsed it umpteenth time in his mind. The words didn’t sink in at first. Kenshuk covered the distance between them in a stride and held his wife with all the love and affection he had for her. He had thought of this moment and thought he was prepared for it. But he was wrong. He just held her as she broke down in his arms. Suddenly she felt a lot of emotions; anger, shame, furious rage, guilty and much more… with in a few minutes. She didn’t know what to feel and how was she going to face herself. Once she stopped crying Kenshuk told her how she was found in a dump at the side road from where she was taken to the local hospital and the rest was history. Her family had tried their level best, pulled the necessary strings and the case of rape was not lodged with the local police and they were able to get her to her hometown. She felt numb, didn’t know what to think, how to respond! She stayed there in Kenshuk’s arms for God only knows how long. She felt blessed for her husband and the family. The next morning was the worst. Everything started closing down on her. She couldn’t look in her mother-in-law’s eyes. Had she tried she would have found more love than ever. She couldn’t understand her own behaviour. She was also angry at her violator and her family too for letting him (or them) scot-free to ruin some one else’ life. She was angry with God too. She was angry with Kenshuk for being so understanding. She hated her being. She knew it wasn’t her fault but still she felt the way she felt!!!
*****
She looked at her 7 year old and felt blessed. The horrid incidence is far behind her. She has come to terms with the life with lot of love from her family and a great psychiatric help. She still doesn’t trust people around her baby completely. But she tries, tries hard not to become paranoid. She has battled the demons in her own way and she has won most of them.
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