Posts Tagged ‘Food for thought’
GOD, Why me!!!!
Posted on: March 2, 2009
- In: Anger | Anguish | Fiction | Food for thought | Life | Love | Marriage | Relationship
- 51 Comments
Khyaati woke up with a start. She tried to get up but slumped down due to excruciating pain in her left leg and she was hurting all over too. She was disoriented and didn’t remember what happened and where was she. She tried to focus around her but couldn’t recognize her surroundings but could make out that it was some sort of a hospital. She just lied there and tried to remember something, anything but she couldn’t come up with anything. As if a part of her was erased from her life! A grumpy, middle aged woman came to her and gave some sort of a shot in the tube that was running in her right hand. She remembered that she was with Kenshuk on her honeymoon. But how did she come here? What happened to her and why was Kenshuk not with her? So many questions clouded her mind. She wanted to ask the nurse about herself; what had happened to her, how did they get her here? But she couldn’t form the words. She lay there and closed her eyes. She dozed off again.
*****
She heard a lot of hushed voices and she tried to open her eyes. There she saw Kenshuk and tried to smile. There were worried lines on his face as he stood there listening to somebody who seemed to be a doctor in his white apparel. She tried to call him but she couldn’t talk. Her eyelids felt very heavy as if somebody had put a lot weight on them. She dozed off again.
*****
She opened her eyes and saw Kenshuk sitting besides her reading something. Her mom and dad and in-laws were all there. She tried to look around but her neck hurt a lot. The room was different. Kenshuk saw her and was on his feet at once. He ran to call the doctor and within a moment the room was abuzz with a lot of activity.
*****
She wanted to know a lot of things. But right now she was just pampered. The aches and pains were getting duller and she seemed to be her old self again. But she felt something amiss since she didn’t know what had happened or how the accident occurred. About two months were erased from her life when she was in coma and nobody was willing to fill in for her. Today she was to be discharged and was very happy to go home after so long. Once at home she pestered Kenshuk about the accident and why only she was affected. What happened? How come there were a lot of stitches around her private parts and also on her hands and legs. There were a lot of questions and now she needed the answers. Kenshuk finally snapped.
“You were raped!!”
Damn, he didn’t want to sound so rude. He had rehearsed it umpteenth time in his mind. The words didn’t sink in at first. Kenshuk covered the distance between them in a stride and held his wife with all the love and affection he had for her. He had thought of this moment and thought he was prepared for it. But he was wrong. He just held her as she broke down in his arms. Suddenly she felt a lot of emotions; anger, shame, furious rage, guilty and much more… with in a few minutes. She didn’t know what to feel and how was she going to face herself. Once she stopped crying Kenshuk told her how she was found in a dump at the side road from where she was taken to the local hospital and the rest was history. Her family had tried their level best, pulled the necessary strings and the case of rape was not lodged with the local police and they were able to get her to her hometown. She felt numb, didn’t know what to think, how to respond! She stayed there in Kenshuk’s arms for God only knows how long. She felt blessed for her husband and the family. The next morning was the worst. Everything started closing down on her. She couldn’t look in her mother-in-law’s eyes. Had she tried she would have found more love than ever. She couldn’t understand her own behaviour. She was also angry at her violator and her family too for letting him (or them) scot-free to ruin some one else’ life. She was angry with God too. She was angry with Kenshuk for being so understanding. She hated her being. She knew it wasn’t her fault but still she felt the way she felt!!!
*****
She looked at her 7 year old and felt blessed. The horrid incidence is far behind her. She has come to terms with the life with lot of love from her family and a great psychiatric help. She still doesn’t trust people around her baby completely. But she tries, tries hard not to become paranoid. She has battled the demons in her own way and she has won most of them.
I love daddy!
Posted on: February 17, 2009
- In: Fiction | Food for thought | Friendship | Kids | Life | Love | Marriage | Relationship | Separation
- 36 Comments
His eyes turned into saucers when he saw her for the first time. And when he saw what she was offering him, he was on cloud nine. He simply loved candy-floss! But the moment she kissed him on his cheek he wiped it clean.
Kush didn’t like girls kissing him, yet! In his entire life of nine years he had allowed only his mother to cuddle him and kiss him. He loved being held by her. Oh, how he loved it! But it was more than a year now since she did any such thing. He blamed himself for being naughty and requested God often to send his mother back. He promised him he would behave himself and never, ever upset his mother. But God never listened to him. Now it was only him and daddy. And daddy too had changed since mom went away. He rarely smiled and was keeping himself busy all the time. Though he played with him and also told him stories at night, Kush’s young brain analyzed that his father was also missing his mother the way he did!
But for the last couple of months, daddy had started smiling more often. Yesterday he even whistled while making him the breakfast. Kush felt good. He missed his mother but he wanted his daddy to be happy, very happy!
Daddy said that one of his friends was coming home for dinner tonight and so he had to complete his homework earlier. Kush loved guests. And the attention they showered on him.
And true to that this sweet aunty got him candy floss. He loved candy floss, but that I have already mentioned earlier.
She seemed to be sweet and talked and laughed a lot. And daddy, too, was laughing a lot. It’s been so long ago that daddy had laughed like this that Kush didn’t even remember.
He sat there with them eating his candy floss and sulking. Usually he would not sit with his daddy’s guests for long. But today he refused to budge. He didn’t know why he was suddenly feeling so low and why his eyes were brimming with tears.
“That Lady”‘s visits became more frequent and Kush started feeling alienated. His temper tantrums increased. Daddy was at lost. He didn’t realize what was wrong with Kush suddenly. He was getting worried. He tried to talk to Kush, he tried everything possible but it seemed as if Kush had shut doors. When Kush didn’t light up while watching “The power rangers”, daddy couldn’t take it any more.
“Kush, I want to have a talk with you, a man to man talk. Can I trust you?” daddy asked.
“Man to man?” Kush looked at his father, a bit confused, but intrigued. This was the first real response daddy got from Kush in weeks. He got strength to go on further.
“I am in a dilemma. And I need advice from you. I think you are the only person who can help me.”
Kush didn’t know what to say but he was all ears now and felt very important as his father thought him to be his confidante. He looked at daddy intently and urged him to go on.
“You know Jui, the friend of mine!”
Kush got tensed at the mention of “That lady”. Daddy felt the reaction and was now doubly sure about the problem. He had hit the bull’s eye.
“I am thinking whether I should continue my friendship with her. I do like her company but… you know, I am not really sure. She is a girl, you see!”
Kush’s face lit up. Daddy felt a tug at heart.
“I like her a lot and she seems to be the best friend I had in a long time. But I am not very sure. What do you say?”
Kush was in a dilemma now. He had not anticipated this.
“I think you are the only person whom I can talk to and can rely on the opinion. Do think and tell me.”
With that daddy bade good night with a peck on his forehead.
Kush’s little heart went into topsy-turvy. He sat there for a long time and thought “hard”, as hard as a nine year old could think.
But before he went for the sleep he had made the decision.
After a long time Kush slept with a big smile on his face.
Related post:
Promise?
Posted on: December 1, 2008
- In: Fiction | Food for thought | Friendship | Kids | Life | Love | Relationship
- 55 Comments
My wife called, ‘How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?
I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter, Sindu, looked frightened; tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with curd rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.
I cleared my throat and picked up the bowl. ‘Sindu, darling, why don’t you take a few mouthful of this curd rice? Just for Dad’s sake, dear?’
Sindu softened a bit and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. ‘Ok, Dad. I will eat – not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should…’ Sindu hesitated. ‘Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?’
‘Promise’. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinched the deal. Now I became a bit anxious. ‘Sindu, dear, you shouldn’t insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money right now. Ok?’
‘No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive’. Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child to eat something that she detested.
After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation.. All our attention was on her.
‘Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!’ was her demand.
‘Atrocious!’ shouted my wife, ‘A girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!’
‘Never in our family!’ My mother rasped. ‘She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!’
‘Sindu, darling, why don’t you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.’
‘Please, Sindu, why don’t you try to understand our feelings?’ I tried to plead with her.
‘Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice’. Sindu was in tears.
‘And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for. Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, and its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?’
It was time for me to call the shots. ‘Our promise must be kept.’
‘Are you out of your mind?’ chorused my mother and wife.
‘No. If we go back on ourpromises, she will never learn to honour her own.. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.’
With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.
On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, ‘Sinduja, please wait for me!’ What struck me was the hairless head of that boy.
‘May be, that is the in-stuff’, I thought.
‘Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!’ Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued, ‘that boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from… leukemia’. She paused to muffle her sobs. ‘Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son! Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.’
I stood transfixed and then, I wept. ‘My little Angel, you are teaching me how selfless real love is!’
P.S. This is not my creation. But sadly I don’t know who the author is, so am unable to give the credit. I loved the story and my eyes welled up while reading it! I wanted to share it with you guys, hope you like it too!
Faith Continues…
Posted on: November 13, 2008
- In: Anguish | Fiction | Food for thought | Friendship | Kids | Life | Love | Marriage | Relationship
- 36 Comments
Their life changed and how!! Baby’s laughter, cries and antics filled their days with pleasure. They named the baby “Khushi”, for she brought them happiness. As the days passed Kaushal forgot all about her birth problems and things fell into routine. Preksha also resumed her work after a few months.
Khushi was very timid and looked like a porcelain doll. But as she grew up her parents noticed that her milestones were delayed. The paediatrician asked them to wait since certain children took time. But as the fate would have it Khushi never became “normal”. She remained a slow child! Her physical capabilities were also compromised. Preksha and Kaushal were heart broken to see their only child in such a state.
They tried to search for the reasons, was it because of the late pregnancy? Was it because of the delayed oxygen supply to the brain at the time of delivery? They wanted reasons; they wanted to blame something, somebody…
Over a period of time they came to term with the situation. And all said and done, Khushi was their only child, their precious princess and now she needed them more than anything else. In spite of her delayed growth, she was a happy child and loved playing around. She needed more care, a cautious supervision and special attention.
“I want to be with Khushi… I want to leave the job.” said Preksha at dinner one day.
Kaushal had never forced her for anything. He was happy with her happiness. And he also knew that Khushi needed her mother’s care and attention. But he also knew that Preksha would go bonkers if she stayed at home full time.
He was right. Being a full-time mother of a slow child was taking toll at Preksha. She needed an outlet.
One day on internet, she came across a site which helped people put up NGOs and the necessary training required for running such an organization.
Preksha looked at Khushi and thought,
“There are so many mothers like me who are in the same position and might not have enough capability or resources to bring up their “special” children. I, anyway, have to look after Khushi, so why not help others also!!”
Kaushal was more than happy with the idea.
And the ball started rolling.
Isn’t it said, “When you desire something, the entire universe conspires to realize your wish”?
The journey was not easy, not easy at all! But the smiles of the little angels kept her going. Initially the finances were tough, but as the word spread, donations came pouring in and also the volunteers. Young boys and girls took time from their studies to donate their time.
Slowly but steadily her dream took shape and today Preksha is a proud founder of “Khushi’s Paradise”; a paradise where Khushi and her “friends” love doing finger painting, listening to stories, getting scared of puppets, eating sloppily and then sheepishly smiling at “aunties”, “Didis” and “Bahiyas”. Still, their favourite is “Preksha mamma”.
Preksha started with one child but now she was a proud “Mamma” of 60 such Khushis…
Epilogue: Khushi is now 6 years old, still passes urine and sometimes stool too, without realizing. She still needs attention and constant watch so that she would not lose balance while walking. She has to be looked after while eating so that she would not get chocked since her cough reflex has not yet developed properly. She has a lot of other problems but her smile is intact.
And she still brings happiness to her parents’ lives!!
Apology!
Posted on: September 4, 2008
- In: Anguish | Corporate life | Food for thought | Life
- 37 Comments
- Name changed to protect privacy
Today Parth was very upset. Somehow everything was going hay-ward since morning.
First his car got bumped into another, then the person who had promised to deliver the material yesterday had not shown up till now and now he learnt from a colleague that one of the ABMs had not shown up for the training.
“What the hell!”, he thought.
He called the ABM and asked why he had not shown up.
“But sir, I informed Mr. Parth that i would not be able to come for the training!” ABM reasoned.
“You are talking to ‘Mr. Parth’ right now and I have not received any intimation till now” shouted Parth in the phone.
How the hell can this person lie so blatantly! Parth lost his temper and gave a piece of his mind to the ABM.
“With all said and done, at least tell me why you are not able to join us? Do you realise how important this training is for you and how much company is spending on your training?”
The ABM was now almost in tears. He still maintained that he had informed the head office. ,
“Sir, my 6 year old son has been diagnosed with cancer last week and I will have to take him for the surgery on Saturday!” he added.
Parth was shocked. He mumbled something and disconnected the phone. He went and checked his mail and there was his mail starring at him from the screen. He felt so ashamed of himself. He mopped around for a while and but could not concentrate on anything!
Ultimately, he gathered the courage and called the ABM again to apologise.
Why?
Posted on: August 14, 2008
- In: Anger | Anguish | Fiction | Food for thought | Kids | Life | Love | Marriage | Relationship | Separation
- 33 Comments
Nobody knew how Sahil felt or thought. He kept to himself. Kavita was exactly opposite to him. She was chirpy, bubbly and very talkative! If she was like waves of the ocean he was like an anchor, firmly rooted to the ocean-bed. Though Kavita had accepted him she missed sharing his thoughts. But whenever she had these kinds of thoughts, Sahil would do something very sweet and all her anger and disappointment will evaporate.
But these days Sahil was very happy and for a change, it showed in his behaviour too. In their marriage of two years, this was the first time Kavita heard him whistle! Well, she was happy too!
She was pregnant!
Kavita was pampered silly in those nine months. Sahil would drop her to her office and was always there to pick her up, he would see to it that kavita got the best of everything! This was to say the least…
Today was the D-day and Kavita was very scared. Her labour was induced in the morning at 7 but somehow the drugs were taking all the time in the world to act. Sahil was there besides her like a rock. She was writhing in pain and was totally exhausted. After a very difficult labour she delivered her child at 5 in the evening.
She looked at Sahil for the sign of happiness or any sign, for that matter! But she was not prepared for what she saw! She saw the veil coming down on his face, he grew completely rigid and then she lost him! He left the room without a second glance.
Kavita got scared. She didn’t understand what happened! She looked at her mother and saw tears streaming down her face.
She wanted to scream….
“Can somebody tell me, what’s going on here? Where is my baby?”
Nobody said anything. She was cleaned and taken to the recovery room. Her mind was about to explode.
Then the nurse entered with a little bundle in white. She could see the baby’s face. The baby looked absolutely cute and adorable. But as the nurse placed the baby in her arms she knew that something was wrong.
Not something, everything was wrong!
Her son was a stillborn!
She just looked at her son, kissed his forehead and caressed him lovingly. She asked for forgiveness for letting him down and not been able to take care of him. She just stared at him.
When the nurse came again to pick him up, she didn’t even protest!
But then all hell broke loose and tears would not stop.
She longed to be held by Sahil.
Sahil!!!
He was nowhere in sight.
“He had completed the formality and went straight home. To prepare for her arrival!” her mother told.
Kavita was discharged within two days and these two days were the toughest of her life.
She saw Sahil after two days when he came to pick her up.
When she entered her home she was in for a second shock. Her home, no now it can’t be called a home, the house was stripped off everything that bore any sign of their child’s arrival.
She saw Sahil drift from her and everything else, day after day. He had retreated in a cocoon.
They no longer communicated, in any sense!
She tried her level best but couldn’t cross the invisible wall that Sahil had erected around his heart. Now, it was getting difficult to bear the silence. She felt as if it was her fault that their son had not survived.
Last year on this date Sahil had lost his son.
Today he is going to lose his wife. For good!
Heart ‘n’ body, mind ‘n’ soul!
Posted on: July 28, 2008
- In: Fiction | Food for thought | Friendship | Life | Life as a medico | Love | Marriage | Relationship
- 43 Comments
Siddhartha was busy listening to radio when he heard the news of serial blasts in his city. He jumped and ran to get his apron and within no time he was at the trauma center. He was not on-call today but he was compelled by his conscious to help the blast victims in these trying times. After all, he was a doctor!
Injured were pouring in and there was a scene of chaos in the ward with so many patients and so less resources. Siddhartha was busy attending the patients in the corridor when he saw something blue flashed from his side vision. And before he could make out anything, the “blue light” erupted in a fire ball. Yet another bomb blasted in the ward of the trauma ward.
This was the last thing Siddhartha remembered of that fateful evening. As he opened his eyes he could see familiar faces of his mother, father and Snigdha. He looked around and came to know that he was in a hospital. He tried to smile and speak but words failed him. His parents were trying to be brave for him. Snigdha was holding his hand in hers. There were no tears in her eyes but they were full of love for him. She smiled at him. The very smile which used to make Siddhartha’s legs go weak.
Later he came to know that he was unconscious for about a month now after the bomb had exploded in the trauma center. And Snigdha was always with him. In spite of her parents cajoling her to go home and take rest, she would not take heed. She had not slept a wink in these 30 days! She got a bouquet of flowers everyday for Siddhartha thinking he might open his eyes!
It was a week now since Siddhartha had opened his eyes. He was tired of lying in the bed the whole day. He wanted to get up and move around. See the sky, hear the birds chirp and he wanted to hold Snigdha in his arms and give her a tight hug. He wanted to do much more but that could wait till they got married. He smiled to himself at the thought. Snigdha caught him smiling and he winked at her. He could see colour rising in her cheeks. When he told her his thoughts Snigdha didn’t answer and said,
“What’s the hurry? First you get better.”
“What better? I am fine now. I am not out of this hospital is because of these doctors who would not let me get up! I don’t understand why? I know I have a fracture but I can walk with the help of the stick, can’t I?”
Snigdha just looked away. She didn’t know how to tell him that he had lost the control of the lower portion of his body.
Siddhartha sensed that something was wrong. He wanted to know. First time after the blast Snigdha lost control. Tears started streaming down her cheeks.
Siddhartha didn’t know what to do, how to react. He was totally numb. Snigdha wanted to hug him, wanted to take away all his pain. She wished that this could have happened to her instead of her beloved Siddhartha!
Siddhartha was discharged after a fortnight. He was lost. He didn’t know what to do with his life!
With no legs to stand on, Siddhartha had a thousand questions.
“How will I complete my MS? What life will I be giving to Snigdha?”, and many more.
***************
Today when he saw the news of serial blasts in his city once again after 5 years, the memories resurfaced. He called out for Snigdha, now his wife and partner in his multi-speciality hospital.
Their duty was calling them…
Smiley Flower
Posted on: July 21, 2008
- In: Fiction | Food for thought | Friendship | Kids | Life | Love | Relationship
- 39 Comments
Aaryaa was known in her family for being chirpy and was fondly known as “smiley flower” by one and all. But lately she seemed very distant and lost. Sudha was getting worried about her. Aaryaa had just turned 15 last month. Usually Aaryaa chatted away to glory with her friends and hanged out with them often. Lately, Sudha didn’t see her doing that either. Sudha was sincerely worried.
Sudha thought initially that its just a phase. But When Aarya rejected a chocolate truffle cake for desert, Sudha had to talk to her.
“What’s the matter, sweetie?” asked Sudha when she went to Aaryaa’s room to say good night and saw her starring out of the window in oblivion.
“What? Nothing mom.”
“Is something bothering you? You know, we are friends and you can tell me anything that you want, isn’t it!”
“Yeah!”
“So what is it?”
Aaryaa looked in her mother’s eyes and wondered whether to tell her or not. She was her best friend but she was her mom too. Will she understand her?
She thought for a while and decided to tell her mother, she didn’t have to lose anything anyways!
“I don’t know how to say this…! Aaryaa’s eyes started brimming with tears.
Sudha was getting increasingly agitated, thinking the worse! But she knew she had to control her emotions.
“Its okay, sweetie, take your time. Will you prefer to talk some other time?”
“NO!” Aaryaa now wanted to tell to her mother everything that she was experiencing lately. She was too confused and all her friends were even more stupid than her!
“Mom, you know Ishmeet, hai na!”
Of course she knew Ishmeet. He was Aaryaa’s friend since they were in first grade.
“So, what about him? Has he done something to Aaryaa? Has he misbehaved? If he has, then I swear, I am going to make him suffer for the rest of his life!“ thought Sudha vehemently. But she just sat there patiently waiting for Aarya to go on, never once showing her impatience.
“Mom, hun…. he…. hun…. I mean, I ….” Aaryaa was finding it difficult and Sudha was getting increasingly impatient, thinking the worse.
“Mom, I think I love Ishmeet!” Aarya ultimately blurted out.
Sudha didn’t know what to do. She wanted to laugh aloud with relief. She was relieved that everything was fine.
But she didn’t allow the grin to spread over her face. She solemnly looked at Aarya as if it was the most important topic in the world and asked,
“Okay, but why are you so sad these days? And what does Ishmeet has to say about this?”
“Well he doesn’t know it yet! Oh mom, guys are so dumb!” Aaryaa smiled a little. Sudha felt warm to the core looking at her daughter smile after almost a fortnight.
“Yeah I know what you mean. But sweetie, let this be our little secret for a while. You study hard and let him also do the same. You two are such good friends and keep it this way till you are mature enough to discuss it out. Since you don’t know how he feels, why jeopardize the friendship?”
Aaryaa thought for a while.
“But mom, I feel horrible. I don’t want to feel this way for him or anybody. I want to study hard, play tennis and dance. The usual things I do. But these days I don’t feel like doing them at all. All that I like doing is, think about Ishmeet!”
Sudha slid a bit towards her teenage daughter and gave a warm hug.
“It’s okay, sweetie pie, to have these feelings. Everybody have them. Some accept it, some don’t. Some can acknowledge it, some can’t. But, baby, this is a growing up process and we all pass through it. It’s okay. Cherish it.
And as I said earlier, this is our little secret… We won’t tell this to anybody.” Sudha winked at her daughter and they both giggled like old friends and had their chocolate truffle.
Sudha knew the matter didn’t end here and some serious thoughts also had to be planted in Aaryaa’s mind so that she doesn’t take her advice too lightly. But she knew she has done a good job today not reprimanding or preaching Aaryaa. She won her daughter’s confidence which was more important at the moment.
She didn’t want to push Aaryaa away from her by giving her the lecture on morality.
The way her mother had done!
Sakhi's Laghukatha 
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