Sakhi's Laghukatha

Posts Tagged ‘lady

fiction_stamp2Khyaati woke up with a start. She tried to get up but slumped down due to excruciating pain in her left leg and she was hurting all over too. She was disoriented and didn’t remember what happened and where was she. She tried to focus around her but couldn’t recognize her surroundings but could make out that it was some sort of a hospital. She just lied there and tried to remember something, anything but she couldn’t come up with anything. As if a part of her was erased from her life! A grumpy, middle aged woman came to her and gave some sort of a shot in the tube that was running in her right hand. She remembered that she was with Kenshuk on her honeymoon. But how did she come here? What happened to her and why was Kenshuk not with her? So many questions clouded her mind. She wanted to ask the nurse about herself; what had happened to her, how did they get her here? But she couldn’t form the words. She lay there and closed her eyes. She dozed off again.

*****

She heard a lot of hushed voices and she tried to open her eyes. There she saw Kenshuk and tried to smile. There were worried lines on his face as he stood there listening to somebody who seemed to be a doctor in his white apparel. She tried to call him but she couldn’t talk. Her eyelids felt very heavy as if somebody had put a lot weight on them. She dozed off again.

*****

She opened her eyes and saw Kenshuk sitting besides her reading something. Her mom and dad and in-laws were all there. She tried to look around but her neck hurt a lot. The room was different. Kenshuk saw her and was on his feet at once. He ran to call the doctor and within a moment the room was abuzz with a lot of activity.

*****

She wanted to know a lot of things. But right now she was just pampered. The aches and pains were getting duller and she seemed to be her old self again. But she felt something amiss since she didn’t know what had happened or how the accident occurred. About two months were erased from her life when she was in coma and nobody was willing to fill in for her. Today she was to be discharged and was very happy to go home after so long. Once at home she pestered Kenshuk about the accident and why only she was affected. What happened? How come there were a lot of stitches around her private parts and also on her hands and legs. There were a lot of questions and now she needed the answers. Kenshuk finally snapped.

“You were raped!!”

Damn, he didn’t want to sound so rude. He had rehearsed it umpteenth time in his mind. The words didn’t sink in at first. Kenshuk covered the distance between them in a stride and held his wife with all the love and affection he had for her. He had thought of this moment and thought he was prepared for it. But he was wrong. He just held her as she broke down in his arms. Suddenly she felt a lot of emotions; anger, shame, furious rage, guilty and much more… with in a few minutes. She didn’t know what to feel and how was she going to face herself. Once she stopped crying Kenshuk told her how she was found in a dump at the side road from where she was taken to the local hospital and the rest was history. Her family had tried their level best, pulled the necessary strings and the case of rape was not lodged with the local police and they were able to get her to her hometown. She felt numb, didn’t know what to think, how to respond! She stayed there in Kenshuk’s arms for God only knows how long. She felt blessed for her husband and the family. The next morning was the worst. Everything started closing down on her. She couldn’t look in her mother-in-law’s eyes. Had she tried she would have found more love than ever. She couldn’t understand her own behaviour. She was also angry at her violator and her family too for letting him (or them) scot-free to ruin some one else’ life. She was angry with God too. She was angry with Kenshuk for being so understanding. She hated her being. She knew it wasn’t her fault but still she felt the way she felt!!!

*****

She looked at her 7 year old and felt blessed. The horrid incidence is far behind her. She has come to terms with the life with lot of love from her family and a great psychiatric help. She still doesn’t trust people around her baby completely. But she tries, tries hard not to become paranoid. She has battled the demons in her own way and she has won most of them.

Ritu opened the drawer fifth time since morning and sighed again. A long, big sigh!! She remembered her neighbour’s comments and she backed off. Her eyes glistened. She knew she was over reacting but she couldn’t help but feel down.

 

She was the most beautiful girl of her batch when she was in college. And her beauty was even more endearing for she was totally oblivious to the fact that she stole a lot many hearts on the campus when she smiled and jerked her head back to keep her hair in place. Not surprisingly, she was the most sought after girl!

 

When she got “attached” to Kartik a lot of alcohol flowed in the boy’s hostel…

 

After 5 years of marriage to Kartik and a baby later now when she looked at in the mirror she couldn’t recognize herself. Well, almost!! She has put on at least 15 Kgs post delivery! She still looked charming and beautiful with that sweet smile and cherubic face. It was just that she had filled up a bit on her curves.

 

She had become a woman!

 

But every now and then somebody would comment on how she used to look in her college days and how she has changed now. Most of the time she would just smile but sometimes she felt bad, sometimes she felt enraged and sometimes she went into depression.

 

Kartik was always on her side. If he was around he would shoot his favourite dialogue,

 

“If you want a wife, your children’s mother, a best friend, a professional, a girl-friend, a cook; all wrapped into one and still expect her to be toothpick thin then probably you are asking for too much from a human being!”

 

But it was not always possible to make others understand how one feels when they talk without thinking.

 

Today was one such day. Ritu loved chocolates and she was gifted one by her best friend today. As she was about to open it, her nosy neighbour came and commented on how much weight she has put on and how it is not good for her to have chocolates and other high calorie food! She pushed the chocolate in the drawer but couldn’t push the thoughts which were rummaging through her mind!

 

“Was it her fault that she was genetically prone to put on weight?

 

Was it her fault that she was suffering from Hypothyroidism?

 

Was it her fault that even after taking regular treatment she was unable to shed weight?

 

Was it her fault that she hardly got time to exercise on a regular basis from her multiple duties of being a wife, a mother and a working professional?

 

Was it her fault that she could not diet as she needed those calories to keep her going?

 

Was it her fault that Indian females were made to be a bit voluptuous compared to their western and eastern counterparts?

 

Was it her fault that media was wrongly portraying toothpick thin models and showing that was the way Indian ladies are suppose to look?”

 

As she stood in front of her drawer, looking at her bar of chocolate longingly, warmth enveloped her from behind. Kartik had come home early with a gift for her – a beautiful skirt and a T-shirt from the “All size” store… He knew she would look beautiful, as always, in those floral clothes!

Name has been changed to protect privacy!

Name has been changed to protect privacy!

Scene # 1, 26 June, 2008

5:45 am

Alarm goes off. Swati wants to snooze it badly but she knows, she can’t really do that. Springs on her feet and she is up and about! With a whirl wind, she freshens up as soon as she can and is already in the Kitchen by 5:55 am

Cooker is on the first burner of the gas stove, milk on the second, vegetable on the third!

The alarm goes off again! (She keeps multiple alarms so that she doesn’t forget to wake her child up!)

6:15 am

“Please, bachchaa, get up! Its 6:15 now…” she cajoles her 5 year old to get up for the school.

As she makes her ready by giving her a bath, brushing her teeth, suddenly she remembers… MILK….. runs in the kitchen……thank God, it has not spilled over!

Runs back to her baby, makes her ready for the school!

“Drink your milk fast, sweet heart!” She coaxes her child. Suddenly the alarm goes off again! (Bhaago……..! Time for the school bus!)

Packs snacks for the lunch box and kisses her child and waves good bye!

7:00 am

“Come on, yaar, get up! It’s already seven!” wakes up husband…

Cooker has cooled, now the “daal” can be prepared!

Veggie is done by now. The burner is now free for the tea for the hubby and the in-laws!

Daal on the first burner and tea on the second!

Prepare dough for the “rotis” by the time tea is done.

Served everybody, had a cup of tea standing at the kitchen platform looking at the daal so that it will not spill over!

Prepares “rotis” for the whole family of four!

It’s already 8:30 am

9:00 am

Punches at the office sharp at 9:00 am.

Deals with the superiors, subordinates, juggles the managerial role with that of many others.

6:00 pm boss lets her know about the urgent work which just came in.

7:15 pm

Reaches home. Prepares food for the family.

8:00 pm

Dinner with family.

9:00 pm

Helps in homework of the child.

10:00 pm

“Mom, pleeeeeeeeeease, one story!” she couldn’t refuse her sweet heart.

10:30 pm

“Hey how was your day?” asks hubby sweetly while giving a peck on her cheek. He wanted more! She wanted it too! She smiles at him… he goes to put the light off!

When he comes back, she is fast a sleep!

********

Scene # 2, 26 June, 2000

Swati receives a gold medal in Skating competition. She keeps her medal with others she had won in the past in various competitions.

Her parents were proud of her as not only she was good at sports but excelled at acaedemics, too. Why, this year only she completed her MBA from an reputed university!

*********

She is everything that is expected of her… a good wife, mother, bahu, successful professional…. everything!

Everything but herself!

Recently, very frequently, Swati has started asking herself, WHERE HAS SWATI GONE?


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Sakhi's Laghukatha by Sakhi (aka Dr. Dhara Shah) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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