Sakhi's Laghukatha

My wife, my best friend!

Posted on: July 14, 2008

Sridhar couldn’t sleep the whole night. It was his wedding night and he was tossing and turning in his bed. According to the rituals in his caste the husband and wife are not allowed to consummate the marriage until they have been to the “kuldevi” for “aashirvaad”.

 

Sridhar’s marriage to Pallavi was not a love marriage nor had they met each other before marriage for more than a couple of instances! But Pallavi’s dove like eyes, her soft smile and princess like demure had bewitched Sridhar. He had waited for this day, oops night, for so long! Damn, the rituals!

 

Everybody teased him in the morning as he went down to meet his new wife to take her to the temple. He tried show anger but the smile playing on his lips gave away his mood.

 

It had been six years since then. Sridhar and Pallavi were envied for their love and understanding for each other. They were inseparable and had become best friends.

 

Sridhar was very upset today. He could hear Pallavi screaming with pain from across the door. He wanted to be on her side in such pain but elders in his family restrained him from entering the labour room.

 

“Damn rituals!” he thought.

 

Suddenly the screams died down and the nurse came out to call the father of the baby. As he went inside the room he saw a little bundle in white with only a pink face glowing from inside. He would not forget this sight ever. His daughter looked so tiny and so beautiful, just like her mother! He wanted to jump around like a kid. Pallavi slept peacefully. The exhaustion didn’t show on her face.

 

Suddenly on the next day of the delivery Pallavi started bleeding heavily. She had suffered from secondary post partum haemorrhage and the bleeding was not at all getting controlled.

 

With a blow from the blue, Pallavi passed away, with the same softness sealed on her beautiful face.

 

Sridhar didn’t cry, didn’t cry at all! He was absolutely shocked.

 

He had not only lost the mother of his new born child but his wife, his best friend, his soul mate!

 

He kept starring at the photograph somebody from the family had got enlarged, framed and garlanded. He just kept starring at her. Suddenly he heard his baby cry and something broke lose inside him. Tears started pouring as he saw his wife being prepared for her final journey.

She looked even more beautiful than usual.

 

As he started to go along with his wife for her cremation he was stopped by his Tau.

 

Tu nahi jaa sakta, beta!

 

”But why? She is my wife!” Sridhar was bewildered.

 

Abhi teri ummar hi kya hai? Hamaare samaaj mein jiski shaadi phir se ho sakti hai woh smashaan nahi ja saktaa!

 

“What are you talking about, Tau? It’s only been 12 hours since Pallavi is no more and you guys have started thinking about my remarriage?” Sridhar was absolutely shocked.

 

“Damn rituals!”

 

“But, you have to think of your child also…” Tau trailed off.

 

“Whether I remarry or not or whether my child needs a mother or not is not the question at the moment. My wife has passed away and I am going to bid her the farewell and that’s all!”

 

“But, beta... the rituals says…”

 

“To hell with your rituals, to hell with everything….” Sridhar’s thunderous voice echoed in the large hall….

37 Responses to "My wife, my best friend!"

i agree to hell with rituals…we need to evolve…

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Well I am never against rituals. But when they start being stupid and unbearable, I agree with Vishesh….and Shridhar ““To hell with your rituals, to hell with everything…”

Good one Sakhi!!!

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@ Vish and Suda

I do agree with your views!

We make rituals to make life easy but they shouldnt be given that much of a importance as to they become larger than the life itself!

@ Suda

Thanks🙂

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Humanism and logic should come first. Rituals and traditions later.

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There is so much about this post I dont understand.

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@ Reems

This is the most cryptic response i ever had from you!🙂

But yes, i do believe what you say

@ Robert

I am sorry, since i have written a lot of dialouges in Hindi that you might not connect to the story!

I will take care to write in English or atleast keep translations from next time onwards.

Here the protagonist was not allowed to attend his wife’s funeral since it was against the ritual. He retaliates to that due to the deep love for his wife. You might not relate to the story since these are the things which are quite unique to the Indian customs which are still followed rampantly…

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again… a very widespread and sensitive topic.
I don’t really believe in rituals. We may follow some to please our elders but only if they are not harming anyone , either physically or emotionally.

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All your stories have a social message and that’s touching. I liked this one, because I too abhor rituals. Also the insensitivity of relatives!

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good one.
poor robert….

there is one more sensitive issue of dowry in india like this stupid rituals.

“We make rituals to make life easy but they shouldnt be given that much of a importance as to they become larger than the life itself!”
VERY TRUE………

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Good story.🙂
Rituals should be a part of life but only till the point where they don’t hurt. If they become a pain in the ass, throw them away.🙂

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@ Adarsh

Most of the time elders would have suffered the pain themselves at one point of time because of these useless rituals but they conveniently forget that pain when it comes to somebody younger.

@ Nita

Yeah the insensitivity is not at all alien to many of us. And I too abhor rituals when they are insensitive and problematic. But some ritual I love.. like to take away bridegroom’s shoes at the marriage ceremony and the “saali” ask for the token ( but i have also known a couple of instances where fights erupted because the groom side people were not so sportive!).

@ James

Yes Dowry is also one of the burning issue in modern India. We really need to evolve a lot as vishu points out.

@ Amit

It is difficult to throw away a lot of rituals and a person should be very strong willed to sustain the wrath of the community and the family to do so in many a instance! But the younger generation should take up this task. I know many of my friends, who being well educated still are stuck with age old ritual just because they dont want to antagonize their families.

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Very Touching story!!!

I liked it.

Regards,

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Hey thanks abhi!🙂

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yeah, not going to the wifes funeral sounds just plain retarded to me.

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well the rituals r gud upto sme extent but nt upto this extent

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Rituals nowadays, they say, are meant to impose a semblance of attachment to the past, a necessary evil borne out of the insecurities of hard-core religious nuts who feel that the world is losing its morality… Bah!! Nuts!!
This is a nice story… I liked it!😀

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@Saks – Nice write-up! I was wondering how can you think so much about different happenings! You got a masterpiece mind for telling stories and eventually passing on a social message! Lovely Saks!

As far as rituals go, till they are not a pain in the backside I don’t mind🙂

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“Abhi teri ummar hi kya hai? Hamaare samaaj mein jiski shaadi phir se ho sakti hai woh smashaan nahi ja saktaa!”
This Ritual, i havent Heard of, sounds so Funny…

Seriously,Damn Rituals!

You are a genius!…One hell of a mind…

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I am revisiting my fear of physical pain. I am scared of child births.

http://alchemistpoonam.wordpress.com/2007/02/16/angst-o-phobia/

It was a nice story, though.🙂

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This made my eyes brim with tears….I hate rituals…I was so upset when my dad’s stuff was given away…And I was about to jump in Ganga when his spectacles and other stuff were drown in Haridwar…I was shocked….
I stole a kurta from his clothes..before they were given away…I have it with me..
Damn rituals!!!!I hate them…..
Trule deeply hate them..

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@ Robert
I absolutely agree, it really is some retarded mind’s work to come up with such rituals! But in rural India this is not unheard of!

@Sanjay

yeah absolutely true

And welcome to my blog!🙂

@ NIks

*Rituals nowadays, they say, are meant to impose a semblance of attachment to the past, a necessary evil borne out of the insecurities of hard-core religious nuts who feel that the world is losing its morality*

wow that was some thought, and absolutely agree to it!🙂

@ RJ

LOL🙂

@ Bhav

Yes they do exist.. though more so in rural India. Can u believe, when my first grany passed away (my dad was son of the second grany), my granpa wasn’t allowed to go to her funeral. This was 70 years back, though! but the same rituals are still followed in the interiors of rajasthan, UP, Bihar and MP…And probably in other parts of India other such rituals might be prevalent

@ Poo

Thanks but painof child birth? did i miss something here?

@Mahak

I am sorry, i made you sad… wish u best days ahead.

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just reading your posts is easier than commenting on them!

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No probs.. atleast read them and whenever you feel i have not done the justice let me know…🙂 will that be fine for you San?

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I mean, every woman has to face child births sometime. What did you think?🙂

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@ Poo

i thought so, but didnt understand the context here!🙂

@ San
🙂

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u did magic… i dont understand wht is it to have a wife coz of my age… but trying to imagine sridhar’s plight, i feel like burning every soul who speaks of unnecessary rituals…

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🙂 thanks… and yes, as i mentioned earlier, ritual are there because of us and not to harass us!

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Let this society and its rituals go to hell

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Rituals were created tu help elders maintain an upperhand in the family at all important situations!
Anyways, nice story :)…loved it!

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@ CM

Why the society? WE are the society.. if we change society changes! But yes, those rituals are there to harm us, we should definately throw them away!

@ Pria

You are right in certain aspect. But if you go back to some hundreds of years back these and some other rituals were actually created for the smooth running of the society.

for e.g., A female can not touch anything or do the household work when she is menstruating! Now, if you see this ritual only in todays context its seems absurd. But when this was formed it was formed because at that time the female was the sole person to take care of the house hold duties. To give her rest in that condition she was given rest. People would not understand this if it was scientificaly explained but give it a religious reason and they would comply easily!

Though not all rituals are God sent! Some were modified and broken by elders and so-called religious heads to serve their purpose!

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Yes, the damned rituals can go to hell!😡

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mummyy…….i am sad…..i did not expect it to be this way ended!!!

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@ Raj

yeah… i absolutely agree!

@ Sahaja

hmmm.. life is strange!

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@Sakhi

Another gr8 story from u.

Rituals were made to meet the need of the era in which they started. With passage of time those things becomes obsolete, irrelevant and then they turn into a stranglehold. They suffocates us and we choke under their grip yet few try to break free. For most of us it is there to suffer for we lack courage……

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“They suffocates us and we choke under their grip yet few try to break free. For most of us it is there to suffer for we lack courage……” How truly said..

Really very few people have the courage to take decisions at the right time!

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[…] Sakhi tells a tale of Indian society and loss of spouse […]

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Sakhi's Laghukatha by Sakhi (aka Dr. Dhara Shah) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at sakhi.laghukatha@gmail.com.

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