Posts Tagged ‘Blessings’
Blessings… her point!
Posted on: July 2, 2009
- In: Life | Love | Relationship | romance
- 53 Comments
Aakriti felt so agitated that Aakaash was going to be at the conference. It had been 15 years since she had seen him. 15 years since they had spoken. Since she had told him that her life was to be tied to another. It was her parents’ decision, steeped in tradition. She had hoped that Aakaash would protest – that he would fight for her. But her had just sat there with his mouth hanging open. She had waited for him to call. Hoped. And then the hope faded away. Perhaps her mother had been right – perhaps Aakaash had jut seen her as some minor amusement to pass the time – but not to marry.
But she had accepted her fate as graciously as she could. Until she discovered that her husband did not want her at all. His parents had arranged the marriage and even waived any dowry requirements, to keep a cover on their respectabilility and the fact that their son preferred men. He was gay and saw this arranged marriage as yet another rejection by his parents. He resented Aakriti, not because he had a problem with her specifically, but because of what she represented in his life. Her parents had been so thrilled that they did not have to worry about the dowry. It was something that had weighed on them for so many years, since the birth of their daughter.
So Aakriti threw herself into her work. It was her only solace. Her only outlet and escape from the realities of her personal life. And at first it worked. Her colleagues treated her with the respect due a woman, ostensibly successful in her professional and personal life. But as the years passed, and she continued to live the lie to protect her parents from the truth, to keep the facade of respectibility, it became hareder to cope with the questions of when she was going to have a baby – something she wanted so much – of her in-laws’ taunts about her barren womb, even though they knew the truth about their son. Aakriti hardened herself. If she was gruff with people at the outset, then they would not ask questions that she didn’t want to face, let alone answer.
So now, all these years later, she dressed carefully as she prepared to meet Aakaash, her one true love again. And yet as she applied her lipstick so carefully, she saw the harsh lines on her face. In place of laugh lines, there were frown lines. In place of smooth skin across high cheek bones, there was blotchy, loose skin that gathered in folds across her jowls and neck. Her face showed the ravages of so many years of trying not to care. It could not be turned back now.
And then she saw Aakaash at the conference. She felt herself light up as she observed him. She hoped to make at least the connection of friendship, after all these years. And she felt her internal light dim as his eyes moved towards her and then passed over her in complete lack of recognition. When his eyes returned to her, she saw him trying to place her and then the shock as he recognised that it was her, Aakriti. She was about to go up to him when he hurriedly excused himself and fled from the room. And she realised that he didn’t really want to see her at all.
The realisation was like a rock on her heart. And yet, she composed herself once again and found strength in her work as she had so often before. When she had her work, she didn’t need anybody and they could not hurt her in any way. She ignored Aakaash for the rest of the conference because to talk to him would be too painful. Not just for the love she had lost 15 years ago, but also for his rejection now. And she knew that her mother had been right all those years ago – Aakaash had never thought of Aakriti seriously – she had just been his play thing for a little while. And now she was finally free of all the romantic illusion that she had created for herself – and she could throw herself completely into her work.
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This work is by a dear reader. She wrote this as a comment but I thought it deserved to be a full post. Thanks sioneve! 🙂
Blessings…
Posted on: June 23, 2009
- In: Fiction | Life | Love | Relationship | romance | Separation
- 62 Comments
Aakaash was going back to India after almost fifteen years. He was called as a guest speaker in one of the conferences.
He was sure to meet Aakriti in the conference. They both were from the same subject and she too, he had heard, was one of the leading surgeons of the country.
He was excited, he was nervous, he was scared too! Scare to meet her, to visit lost lane of his life once again. But he had to do it… fifteen years was a pretty long period and he wanted to get over her. Finally!!!
He remembered all those years when he wanted to settle down, wanted to love someone else the way he had loved Aakriti, somehow he just couldn’t. He had his share of affairs, he even wished for some of them to grow into something serious. But in most cases he couldn’t go beyond a few dates and in other circumstances the girls weren’t ready to fight a “ghost” girlfriend!
All his energy was channelized towards his profession and he was one of the leading surgeons of US of A with international fame. The opportunity to go to his homeland had presented itself many a times in the past but he couldn’t bring himself to face his past. Had it not been for his sister to emotionally blackmail him, he wouldn’t have come this time too!
The conference organizers had sent a driver who took him to the hotel where his stay was arranged. He left his luggage in the room and joined the organizers in the conference room. The conference was to start the next day. He tried to find out about the delegates and didn’t find Aakrit’s name. He was a bit disappointed and relieved too since he now found it difficult to face her. But as he was about to retire to his room, he saw a few other speakers joining them and was shocked to see Aakriti among them.
They smiled at each other cordially and he excused himself on the pretext of jet lag. The world was spinning in front of his eyes. Was she the same girl whom he had loved for so long? She had changed with years and the life had not been very kind to her. Or so her face told him! No, he was not only thinking about the grey strands in her jet black hair or the over all appearance. He was bothered about what he saw on her face…the deep lines of worry or probably hatred towards life or something similar! What bothered him even more was the lifelessness in her eyes. Could he be mistaken? He vowed to find that out in the couple of days that they are going to be together. Presently he wanted to sleep. He dozed off as soon as he closed his eyes.
The next day was very hectic with online surgery techniques and other deliberations. Aakaash did not find time to meet Aakriti alone. In-fact he had forgotten all about her during the day time when the scientific sessions were on. They came face to face again at the banquette in the evening. He found her distant, probably she too was fighting with the demons of their past!
As the evening proceeded, he observed that she didn’t seem to be the person he used to love. She was gruff to the point of being impolite even with the senior surgeons present there and down right abusive to the volunteers of the conference. And as he got to talking with other delegates he came to know that this was her usual behaviour. If she was not so skillful in her surgery she would probably not be called anywhere.
At night Aakaash was unable to sleep. What happened in those fifteen years? She was so sweet and full of life when they were dating! He remembered clearly the day she had come to his hostel room and told him that she was getting married to someone who was a family friend. Just like that, she had dropped the bomb and had left. He sat on the edge of his wrought-iron bed, staring in the oblivion for a very long time. That day it had rained heavily, as if heavens were crying for him. He wished she had explained something, anything! She had just vanished from his life. She was junior to him in medical school. He had already completed his MS when he heard that she had joined the same department. He went to USA after that and tried not to know anything about Aakriti.
Watching her the next day acted as a balm to his wound. And finally he was totally free of her. Probably not marrying her was a blessing in disguise!!
But the blessings came fifteen years late!!
Sakhi's Laghukatha 
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