Archive for the ‘Life as a medico’ Category
Child Birth!
Posted August 27, 2008
on:- In: Humour | Life | Life as a medico | Nostalgia
- 35 Comments
I was sweating heavily with my heart thumping madly! I was literally scared of the prof. taking gynaec viva. She was a terror! :(
And the person who was going to be next for the bombardment of the questions was a chronic (he was appearing for the exams for so long that he had forgotten the count!!). Such calmness I have seen only on Lord Buddha’s face!
My viva was suppose to be just after him, so I was very keen to know the questions, just to get lead and feel of examiner’s mood!
Prof: So, you are back again, hun!
chronic: *gives silly smile*
Prof: How many times have I seen you here?
Chronic: *gives silly smile*
Prof: Ok, Ok tell me the stages of labour.
Chronic: *blank look*
Prof: Stages of labour?
she hands over a dummy pelvis and a doll for him to show the stages of labour.
Chronic: *mumbles something under his breath and shows the passage of the doll through the pelvic cage!*
Prof. probably couldn’t hear anything and the passage was so fast that she had to ask him to do it again.
Prof: Can you please repeat that?
Chronic (With the straigthest face ever made in the history!): Once the baby comes out, never goes in!
Heart ‘n’ body, mind ‘n’ soul!
Posted July 28, 2008
on:- In: Fiction | Food for thought | Friendship | Life | Life as a medico | Love | Marriage | Relationship
- 43 Comments
Siddhartha was busy listening to radio when he heard the news of serial blasts in his city. He jumped and ran to get his apron and within no time he was at the trauma center. He was not on-call today but he was compelled by his conscious to help the blast victims in these trying times. After all, he was a doctor!
Injured were pouring in and there was a scene of chaos in the ward with so many patients and so less resources. Siddhartha was busy attending the patients in the corridor when he saw something blue flashed from his side vision. And before he could make out anything, the “blue light” erupted in a fire ball. Yet another bomb blasted in the ward of the trauma ward.
This was the last thing Siddhartha remembered of that fateful evening. As he opened his eyes he could see familiar faces of his mother, father and Snigdha. He looked around and came to know that he was in a hospital. He tried to smile and speak but words failed him. His parents were trying to be brave for him. Snigdha was holding his hand in hers. There were no tears in her eyes but they were full of love for him. She smiled at him. The very smile which used to make Siddhartha’s legs go weak.
Later he came to know that he was unconscious for about a month now after the bomb had exploded in the trauma center. And Snigdha was always with him. In spite of her parents cajoling her to go home and take rest, she would not take heed. She had not slept a wink in these 30 days! She got a bouquet of flowers everyday for Siddhartha thinking he might open his eyes!
It was a week now since Siddhartha had opened his eyes. He was tired of lying in the bed the whole day. He wanted to get up and move around. See the sky, hear the birds chirp and he wanted to hold Snigdha in his arms and give her a tight hug. He wanted to do much more but that could wait till they got married. He smiled to himself at the thought. Snigdha caught him smiling and he winked at her. He could see colour rising in her cheeks. When he told her his thoughts Snigdha didn’t answer and said,
“What’s the hurry? First you get better.”
“What better? I am fine now. I am not out of this hospital is because of these doctors who would not let me get up! I don’t understand why? I know I have a fracture but I can walk with the help of the stick, can’t I?”
Snigdha just looked away. She didn’t know how to tell him that he had lost the control of the lower portion of his body.
Siddhartha sensed that something was wrong. He wanted to know. First time after the blast Snigdha lost control. Tears started streaming down her cheeks.
Siddhartha didn’t know what to do, how to react. He was totally numb. Snigdha wanted to hug him, wanted to take away all his pain. She wished that this could have happened to her instead of her beloved Siddhartha!
Siddhartha was discharged after a fortnight. He was lost. He didn’t know what to do with his life!
With no legs to stand on, Siddhartha had a thousand questions.
“How will I complete my MS? What life will I be giving to Snigdha?”, and many more.
***************
Today when he saw the news of serial blasts in his city once again after 5 years, the memories resurfaced. He called out for Snigdha, now his wife and partner in his multi-speciality hospital.
Their duty was calling them…
Meeting in boss’ chamber!
Posted July 19, 2008
on:- In: About Me | Corporate life | Friendship | Humour | Life | Life as a medico
- 21 Comments
It was tea time and the time for the team to meet in boss’ chamber. The discusions usually vary from medical news to the new therapies to family issues to just about anything.
This time the name of Mika came up. Boss had never heard of him. So we all chipped in the information and reminded him of Rakhi Sawant’s incidence. Tothis one of my colleagues added that he is the famous singer Daler Mahendi’s brother. He wanted to emphasise his point.
So, he added,
“bachpan se!” (Since childhood)
And we rolled over with laughter! 😀 😀 😀
- In: About Me | Humour | Life | Life as a medico | Nostalgia
- 37 Comments
It was the first term examinations and the last subject (biochemistry) was left. I had worked very hard but was still worried. [This was my usual before any exam! 🙂 ]
It was the practical exam and viva-voce was on. At last my turn came! A lot of questions were asked and I did pretty well (I guess!). My professor was very happy with my answers, but wanted to check my knowledge further. (ab uski kya zarurat thi?)
“If you answer this one last question, I will give you extra marks over what I have already decided,” he said.
“Okay” I replied. (As if I had a choice!)
“What is the colour of the urine in Alcaptonuria?”
“Urine is of normal colour, but turns brown on standing,” I answered confidently. (The answer was right!)
But he was not satisfied, so he went on…
(Do you realize, initially, he had said he would ask only one more question?)
“Whom do you want to stand, urine or patient?”
“Patient,” the answer came automatically. (I swear, I didn’t think and answer!)
And your guess is correct, the answer was wrong… hopelessly wrong as it had nothing to do with my medical knowledge. It was a simple English language goof up!
My professor just smiled, patted me and asked me to read and understand the subject and not just mug up!
I was beet root red from embarrassment… but the damage was done! 😦
P.S. I did my schooling from a local language till 12th standard so was very bad at English then. Later, I cleared not only MBBS but also did MD with flying colours. Recently, I have cleared Cambridge University English examination with Grade A.
Mere desh ka kya hoga!
Posted June 6, 2008
on:- In: Humour | Life as a medico | Satire
- 29 Comments
When I was an intern doctor, I was posted in a rural region (rural internship is a must if you want an internship completion certificate!!!). I was posted under a Medical officer there. He was quite reputed in this village and was serving for quite some years. Since I had joined in the morning only, he was asking questions (relevant as well as irrelevant!) and talking and checking patients simultaneously.
“So, you cleared with first attempt?” Asking me, he gestured to the compounder to send another patient.
“Yes, sir.” I answered meekly, wondering “did I look like a chronic to him?”
“Hun… what are your parents doing?” Now, what has that to do with my internship? But that’s the way conversation progress in India, I guess!
At that particular time a very thin lady entered with a child of say, 1-1 ½ years entered the cabin. The doctor gestured her to sit. His bombardment of questions was still on and directed towards me.
In between he asked the lady what the problem was and she murmured something, which I perceived as fever.
“Bhar re…” he shouted in the direction of the compounder, asking him to fill up the syringe with the usual medicine.
As the compounder handed over the syringe, doctor gave the shot. The lady screamed with pain.
“Why are you screaming?” he asked
“Dacter sa’ab, bukhar humka naahi hai, bachua ka hai,” she complained.
(Sir, the boy has got the fever, not me!)
(The dumb doctor had given the medicine to the mother instead of the child! Shit!)
But the doctor was unflinched. Without batting an eyelid he asked her sternly,
“Doctor kaun hai, mein ya tum?”
(Who is the doctor here, me or you?)
“Aap, Sa’ab”
(You sir!)
“To davaai kaun dega?”
(Then who will decide the treatment)
“Aap, Sa’ab”
(You sir!)
“Yeh tera dudh pita hai ki nahi?”
(Is this child on your milk?)
“Pita hai Sa’ab”
(Yes sir!)
“To davaai tujhe hi pehle deni padegi na!’
(Then, of course, you will be treated first, isn’t it?)
“Bhar re….” he shouted at compounder to fill another syringe of the medicine, which he then gave to the child.
“****”
Ha…Ha…Ha…
Posted January 7, 2008
on:- In: Humour | Life as a medico
- 5 Comments
Once he got angry at some point of one of my classmates and he started with “You, Sameer,….”
He was not getting the right words now… so he continued… “follow me!”
Once they were out of the class boundry, sir said, “Now don’t follow me!”
He wanted to say – “GET OUT”
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